“It’s all about teamwork, you know what I mean?”

Of course I know what you mean. Because that is the same exact comment that every single professional team athlete has ever said to an inquiring sports journalist after a win.

“We really gelled tonight. We came together, got the defense we needed, played real hard on offense. We communicated and had each other’s back. Everyone was hustling. It’s all about teamwork—know what I mean?”

YES. We get it—there is nothing interesting an athlete could possibly say about the way they played once the game is over.

Think about: If he played well, he can’t boast about it or the press will rip him apart. He has to credit his teammates (or God, or his mother, or Coach, or whomever). Case in point: Jeremy Lin. His story is one of a true underdog, which is by its very nature fascinating. Never drafted, Lin came out of nowhere and is, by himself, turning the season around for the New York Knicks. That’s interesting—who doesn’t love a comeback kid? But his post-game interviews? BORING.

Let’s say he missed every single three-point attempt and had double-digit turnovers. What could he possibly say to the press other than his head just wasn’t in the game and he’s working on hustling more and connecting with the basket?

Imagine someone in a slump being honest to the press: “Uh, yeah, the truth is that I am a selfish player who needs to learn how to pass more frequently and make better decisions in the heat of the moment. Coach should bench my sorry ass because I’m bringing the whole team down.” Now that would be interesting, but it would never happen.

So, to all sports journalists everywhere, may I relieve you of the misguided feeling that us fans give a shit about what a player has to say after the game? If we’ve heard one courtside interview, we’ve heard them all. NOBODY CARES. Just let the guys jump in the shower and go on with their lives. They are tired and don’t want to talk to you anyway.