I haven’t played frisbee in over a month—doctor’s orders.

Actually, physical therapist’s orders. I’ve got tendinitis in my left rotator cuff, thanks to too much disc-throwing. So, for now, it’s weekly PT appointments for a dose of battery-powered anti-inflammatory (seriously! She sticks little nodes on my arm!) and daily shoulder exercises with a nifty latex stretchy resistance band thing. And NO FRISBEE.

(Calla is none too keen about the exercises, by the way. She sits and watches me like I’ve gone insane as I swing my arm back and forth and then pounces when I look away.)

So, there I am, not allowed to play frisbee. It’s killing me slowly. But then! On Friday, my physical therapist announces that I can make 25 short throws every other day. Excited by the prospect of this, that night I dream I’m tossing a disc. Suddenly, the disc wisps passed my head and, with Matrix-like instincts I reach across my body (with my right arm, because somehow even in my sleep I know I’m supposed to take it easy on the left) and dive after the disc. My hand touches plastic and—

OUCH.

I wake up with a start as my right hand slams into the wall above my pillow.

I guess I was so into my game of imaginary catch that I was actually going through the motions in my sleep. I wonder what Calla must have thought about all of that: What the hell? Mom’s acting weird. First that whole arm-swinging thing and now she’s punching walls in her sleep. She should get up and feed me breakfast, fer feck sake. I think I’ll pounce on her now.

OUCH.

A couple of days ago, I posted an “Is it or isn’t it?” quiz. Only three people responded. None got an A+.  Posting the people who got every single answer right would look kind of like this:

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Instead, I will announce the winners (i.e. participants) in order of degree of correctness.

In third place, with 4 incorrect answers and 8 correct ones, is Michael5000, the mastermind behind the “is it or isn’t it?” genre.

In second place, with 2 incorrect answers and 10 correct ones, is the Internet’s only other Laura.

And finally, in first place, with only a mere 1 incorrect answer, is the world-famous Head of Tim.

The answer key, with definitions:

1. Layout is. It’s when you dive for a disc.

2. Hippie dust isn’t. I have no idea what hippie dust is. Maybe the powdery stuff at the bottom of a bag of pot? (Just Googled it: apparently, it’s nutritional yeast. Which makes sense, because Asa LOVES nutritional yeast. It’s a good source of B-vitamins, which is not why he likes it but I thought I’d throw that out there. But more importantly—MDIC is Hit Number #3 for “Hippie Dust.” Nice.)

3. Scoober is. It’s a very difficult inverted throw that I can’t do. You use a grip similar to that of a forehand, except that you throw it at shoulder height and you release it upside-down.

4. Poofer isn’t. Poofer is, however, an entirely made-up word. (Or not. I just Urban Dictionaried it, and it turns out that poofer has many meanings, including the following: 1. A gay man. 2. A quiet fart. 3. Someone who tells you only what you want to hear; a yes-man. 4. Someone who listens to Neil Diamond (PS—went to his website to find a good image and got really into listening to his new album. Guess that makes me a poofer).

5. Assist isn’t. I think that’s more of a basketball thing.

6. Thumber is. It’s another advanced frisbee throw that I can’t do. Actually, in my experience, most people can’t—but lots of people try anyway. You basically grip the disc with your pinky—just kidding. With your thumb! Because it’s a thumber! Right. If you want to learn more about it, read about it here.

7. Hammer is. A hammer is very similar to a scoober except that you release the disc over your head instead of over your shoulder.

8. Sickle isn’t. Sickles can go hand and hand with hammers—just not on the frisbee field.

9. Flick is. It’s another way to say “forehand,” and it gets its name from the motion of your wrist as you release the disk. You know, like, a flick of the wrist.

10. Going ho is. It’s basically when you lay out for a disc, and it’s short for “going horizontal [to the ground]“.

11. Flashjack isn’t. Pretty sure that “flashjack” isn’t anything. (Wrong again—I guess it’s a kind of wallaby. Goddamn internets! You can’t make up any words these days! They’re all taken.)

12. Goose egg isn’t. I think a goose egg is just one of those things that hatch baby geese. The Urban Dictionary provides several other alternative defs, some of them more appropriate than others. Actually, Asa uses it to refer to injuries that result in giant bulbous masses protruding from your body (which do happen occasionally while playing Ultimate—often after going ho while laying out for a disc—a scoober, perhaps, or maybe a thumber). So I suppose you could consider this a frisbee term, in which case TimsHead deserves a round of applause for his A PLUS!

My last pair of cleats crapped out at exactly this time last year. WTF? Why not wait until, say, November? Why fall apart in the middle of the busiest part of the season?

Note: the duct tape you see below is the only thing that keeps my toes from poking out the sides.

This year I sprung for the expensive kind, made out of a leather that I don’t even want to type here because it makes me cringe. (hint: it rhymes with bangaroo):

Shiny! They’re going for a whirl tonight. Here’s hoping they produce fewer blisters than the last pair.

You’ll be pleased to know that I finally scheduled an appointment with an oral surgeon. And I only have to wait a month! Not too shabby. Anyway, so I am going to share the following video because I’m infinitely proud of it.

It’s something that Asa and I threw together last night as a bid for a tournament called Potlatch that our team is hoping to go to this summer. Every year in July, more than 100 teams trek to Seattle for two days of a ton of frisbee and gift-exchanging (part of the deal is that you bring an offering to each team you play). I’ve never been myself but everyone I’ve ever asked about it has said it’s the most frisbee fun they’ve ever had.

But you can’t just sign up for it like you can for most other tournaments. Instead, you need to submit a “creative bid.” Something with photos, a peace offering, a case of beer, whatever your team comes up with to show how spirited they are. And not everyone who submits a bid gets in.

The deadline for bids is Wednesday but the tournament isn’t until the end of June, so our team was caught completely off guard on Saturday when we discovered that we had to act REALLY FAST. We brainstormed on Sunday, and A and I got to work last night and another teammate shot it off in the mail this morning.

NOTE: Since Youtube reduces the quality of videos to make them load faster, it’s kind of hard to see the letters of our Scrabble game, but on the version we mailed it was better. Also, all of the words we played were frisbee-related, although some were more of a stretch than others (“vie”—vie for the disc; “skied”—she jumped so high in the sky! She skied him; “heart”—that team’s got heart, man) and you can’t really tell, but that last piece I’m holding is a Q that I end up playing upside down as an O. Oh, and, we’re temporarily using the name “Drawing a Blank” as our team name. OK, I’ll shut up now:

PS, is the video working for anyone? I got it to play once but now it’s not loading at all. Could just be my craptastic Internet connection, though.