My Dog is Chelsea

I just learned a wonderful new phrase, and in an effort to make sure its usage gets widely established, I will share it with you: jumping the couch. Jumping the couch is a modern version of jumping the shark, a phrase that means “such-and-such has finally gone too far; it once was cool and now [...]

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I suppose that procrastination comes to flourish at my website for a reason—I’m pretty freaking good at doing it. Consider my credentials: · I put off writing my thesis for almost two months of the allotted two months I had to write my thesis. · I once stayed up until four a.m. making paper snowflakes [...]

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The life of an intern is very, very hard. We give up all our very precious free time in exchange for thankless tasks such as filing, transcribing, scaling Mount Everest, etc., all for the glory of having our names on the masthead in the “Slave Labor” department.? Case (of beer) in point: Nate the Staff [...]

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Tom Cruise kills Oprah. In unrelated news, my Xanga premium expired and I haven’t repaid. They took away my links. The bastards.

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It’s my day off, so naturally I’m spending it in a coffeeshop. It’s a significantly hipper coffeeshop than my place of employment — it caters not to douchey tourists from Texas who don’t tip, but to the local alternative twenty-something crowd (i.e. people who are my age but are way cooler than I am). And [...]

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