Decisions always seem easier before it comes time to make them

Dearest Internet,

In case you have not heard, I am getting married.

This means that we are planning a wedding and facing all sorts of decisions. Some of them are small (what will our colors be?) and some large (where do we draw the line on our guest list?) and none of them are easy.

But decisions always seem like they will be easier at the outset. Take wedding photography, for instance. That’s not so hard, right? Get a recommendation from a friend and bingo, you’re done.

Nope. Not that easy. I ended up getting three recommendations and met with three fantastic photographers, all of whom were just wonderful and none of whom I wanted to say no to. And while we were agonizing over that decision, I started questioning whether or not we should really be spending money on photography in the first place. The mental process went something like this:

We want a professional photographer to document our wedding > HOLY GOD THAT IS HOW MUCH IT COSTS?! > maybe we don’t need a professional > our friends are creative! > but what if I have 16 chins in every single photo? > THE PHOTOS WILL BE WHAT WE REMEMBER > let’s get a professional > HOLY GOD THAT IS HOW MUCH IT COSTS?! > well, what if we went with 4 hours of coverage instead of 8? > one photographer instead of two? > our wedding photography will be INCOMPLETE without 8 hours of coverage and two photographers!!! > HOLY GOD, seriously? > what if we were to just ask our friends?

Decisions like this make you go from being the most laid-back person in the world to a bridezilla and back again all in the time it takes to shampoo your graying hair. Thing is, you never realize how many options there are until the decision is smack-dab in your face. And once you learn about your options, you’re suddenly finding yourself wanting things you never knew existed.

Like engagement photos. This is where you go out galavanting in a field with your fiance and have professional photos taken of the two of you just being in love. Prior to the wedding photography decision, I would’ve thought this was icky romantic nonsense. But then I started seeing these amazing shots of people caring so deeply for each other and suddenly this thing went off inside of me and I WANT TO GO TO THERE. Some photographers include engagement photos in their base price; others do not. Yet another thing to decide.

This is also true of buying an airline ticket. You start out telling yourself you will by the cheapest airfare you can find. But then you discover for $50 more, you can depart at 10 a.m. instead of the crack of dawn. And for another $50, you can skip the layover in Phoenix. And for YET ANOTHER $50, you can have 4 inches more legroom and an 8% increase in chair-reclining angle and all of a sudden, you’re buying the cheapest airfare you can find + $150 to make your life a little less hellish for that 6-hour flight across the country.

Anyway. We did decide to hire someone, and, eventually, decided on who to hire. He will take beautiful photos and, with any luck, I will have a single chin in at least 25% of them. From now until September I will be practicing the art of holding my head up a little higher. I think that might increase my odds of having fewer extra chins.

Yours truly,

My Dog “I promise to not be a bridezilla” Is Chelsea

6 thoughts on “Decisions always seem easier before it comes time to make them

  1. I just finished this book “How We Decide” by jonah Lehrer and it’s already been helping me with my difficulty in making decisions from small to large. It’s a super fantastic read.

    The reading-the-clif-notes-an-hour-before-the-test version goes like this:
    If it’s a small decision, pick three factors that are important and consciously weigh the options considering those few factors. Do not use your emotional brain.

    If it’s a large decision, gather the information, know your subconscious /emotional brain is taking into consideration way more things than you can consciously think about… distract your brain with math problems and/or logic puzzles and then go with what your gut says feels best.

  2. Ooh! I will put it on hold at the library. Thanks for the recommendation. So basically distract the rational side of your brain? … or maybe that would be a bad thing…

  3. It’s a point of pride for me that we pulled off a 100-person wedding, reportedly enjoyed by all, for under $3000. It was a blast.

    But then it’s also a point of pride for me that I wear a $9.00 wedding ring. It’s my way of sticking it to The Man. I have a very patient wife.

Comments are closed.