Me: I want to make a bolognese sauce with the ground yak I bought at the farmer’s market.
My brain: But you don’t have any pasta.
Me: So?
My brain: Go to the store and buy some — it’s only a few blocks away.
Me: No way! I’ll make pasta from scratch!
My brain: That will take forever, and it’s hard work.
Me: So?
My brain: Really hard work.
Me: I’m doing it.
My brain: Hmm, you know, that pasta you’re making is awfully thick.
Me: So?
My brain: Might want to make it thinner.
Me: No way! I’ve been rolling this dough out for an ETERNITY. I am SO done!
My brain: Well, just make sure you cook it long enough!
Me: What?! It’s been cooking FOREVER — like five whole minutes!
My brain: Not long enough. See that dry spot in the middle of your ridiculously thick noodle? That means it ain’t cooked.
Me: Liar! It’s fine.
My brain: Dumbass. You just spent two hours making pasta from scratch and you can’t wait another three or four minutes?
Me: Who needs you anyway?
My brain: Clearly not you.
Me: Fuck off.
My brain: Not to say I told you so, but whaddya know? This pasta is awfully chewy.
Me: Shut up.
My brain: I mean, this is one hell of a yak bolognese — fuck, damn near one of the best I’ve ever tried — and really, when have I ever tried yak bolognese? — but for crying out loud, I shouldn’t need to eat this pasta with a steak knife.
Me: Just chew harder, whiner.
My brain: Just sayin’.
8 responses so far ↓
1 new neighbor // Mar 22, 2010 at 9:00 pm
I made pasta once, only once, it was in home ec class, I remember it being close to bread sticks. The store is close, neighbors are closer.
2 malahat sunset // Mar 23, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Ah, a look inside the brain of MDIC: funny, a pain-in-the-butt, a know-it-all, a nag, and funny!
You know that Sears gift card you’re going to get for Christmas? Maybe you could put it toward a pasta-making machine. No more pasta you have to cut with a steak knife!
And what does ground yak taste like?
3 Kathryn // Mar 24, 2010 at 7:42 pm
do you have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer? they make a KICK-ASS pasta maker attachment!
ground yak bolognese – yummy!!
4 mydogischelsea // Mar 24, 2010 at 8:39 pm
I don’t have one. I dream of the day I’ll get one!! My friend has one with the pasta attachment. I helped her once — pretty cool!!
ground yak tastes like ground beef but with more flavor.
5 michael5000 // Mar 26, 2010 at 3:19 pm
“Ground yak”?
6 mydogischelsea // Mar 26, 2010 at 3:20 pm
sorry, Michael. it was not a soy-based non-meat meat-esque product. This post not suitable for vegetarians. =)
7 Kim Dallas // Apr 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Hello,
Where do they raise yak in the US? (I am not assuming you live in the US.) I am American living in Sichuan Province in China and I absolutely love the yak here! My friend brings it down from Songpan and it is so delicious! I am going up to Jiuzhaigou and will be eating fresh yak all week-end.
8 mydogischelsea // Apr 19, 2010 at 8:58 am
The yak I bought was raised in Oregon (where I live). It’s not very common to see yak in the US, though — I would guess there probably aren’t many ranchers raising them here. I bet the stuff you can get in China is delish!!