I must begin with a disclaimer: If you eat bagged lettuce, I don’t mean to offend you. It’s just that this is what I’ve been thinking about in the shower lately, and I need to get it out so I can move on with writing other (hopefully more important) things in my head. I hope you will understand. Thank you.
This is why I hate bagged lettuce:
1. Bagged lettuce has a texture problem. It’s either waxy or wilted or limp or browned, and rarely crunchy or perky. It doesn’t taste fresh and it makes a squeaking noise when you chew, like cheese curds.
2. Bagged lettuce comes in a plastic bag. Does kale come in a bag? No. Does broccoli come in a bag? No. Do carrots come in a bag? Sometimes, but they shouldn’t either. Hearty produce that ships easily does not require a bag. Bagged lettuce only needs one because it’s wimpy.
3. It’s triple-washed, but that doesn’t mean it’s clean. Like most industrial food, bagged lettuce is exposed to all sorts of contaminates, some of which are too disgusting to think about in the shower. (See also: Marion Nestle’s take on why you should wash your bagged lettuce.)
4. The whole point of bagged lettuce is that it is convenient, but I’ve never really understood that. You still need to wash it (see point number 3, above), and washing a head of lettuce has never been all that complicated or inconvenient to begin with.
5. It’s ridiculously expensive, and I’m not quite sure why it’s worth paying a premium on an inferior product. It’s the equivalent to buying a Macintosh in the mid-90s.
Anyway, that is all. Now I can carry on with showering and thinking about something else. Like broccoli, and how it’s not fair that you get charged by the pound even though no one ever eats the stems.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Jessica // Feb 11, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Can I subscribe to your blog? I can’t figure out if I can have subscriptions on WP.
Your insights on bagged lettuce are indisputable! It’s the produce aisle disappointment! That and bagged baby carrots - they’re always slimy and there’s a tablespoon of liquid in the bag. They’re too moist to be real carrots.
2 mydogischelsea // Feb 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I think you can have subscriptions on WP — there are a few plugins that allow it. But I don’t have subscriptions set up on mine, so you can’t subscribe except through RSS feed.
Totally agree re: baby carrots. They’re always slimy and gross and completely flavorless. Their only purpose is to serve as a vehicle for eating dip.
3 Lizzy // Feb 11, 2010 at 5:00 pm
I hate that stuff, too. It’s so much cheaper and tastier to buy greens out of the greens bin or to buy a head of lettuce. I also really like sending food for a ride in the salad spinner. I only ever buy baby carrots if I’m away from home and need to pack a picnic (happens more than you’d think, actually), because I don’t travel with a carrot peeler, and I don’t really like the flavor of unpeeled carrots.
4 malahat sunset // Feb 12, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Hey, wait a minute…I eat the stems of broccoli (at least, I do sometimes, and at least, part of the stems). I really started to feel guilty about throwing out what seems perfectly edible - they’re actually not bad cut in rounds and steamed with the rest of the broccoli, although the stem part might take longer to steam. So don’t just throw them out…try them steamed sometime!
5 Jane/Mulchmaid // Feb 13, 2010 at 7:43 am
Let’s NOT buy “convenience” foods that aren’t even convenient and are bad for the planet to boot. Besides, I like seeing my food before I reduce it to meal-size pieces.
And malahat sunset is right: broccoli stems are good. I can’t take the major dose of cellulose they offer, myself, so I peel them before steaming. That’s not so “convenient”, I guess, but the tender insides are actually delicious, and they steam as fast as the florets.
6 mydogischelsea // Feb 13, 2010 at 9:46 am
Ok, fine, the stems are good… but they’re also about 6 inches long. That’s a lot of stem! There’s often more stem than florets. But yes, you’re both right, they are edible and can be delicious. And my co-worker ran across this recipe for pickled broccoli stems in the NY Times that I might give a go.
7 Kathryn // Feb 13, 2010 at 8:56 pm
that’s why I pay a bit more for the broccoli SANS stems
and bagged lettuce? gross - it tastes like formaldehyde