I am officially old — and not just because I’m about to buy a house. Consider the following:
- On an airplane, I was seated next to a teenager and her father. As we were waiting to take off, the girl, maybe 14 or so, noticed my crossword puzzle and she mentioned that she finds them too challenging. We chatted for a bit about that, and then I asked her if she happened to know the name of the actress in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, who was making a cameo in one of the across clues. “Oh, I can’t remember,” she said. “You could –” she cut herself off, like she was thinking better of what she had to say. Then, in the same way an American traveler asks a foreigner if they speak English, she said: “Do you text?” Yes, I responded, I text. “Because you could text CHACHA for the answer.” Yes, folks. It is true. I look too old to know how to text.
- At a bar, my friend picked up a pitcher of beer and a couple of cups. “Laura!” he called. “The bartender needs to see your ID.” I got up from the table and headed to the bar. Halfway there, I made eye contact with the bartender, who then said to my friend: “Oh, okay. Nevermind.”
I have to face it. I no longer exude youthful exuberance. I am OLD.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Brett // Oct 22, 2009 at 12:44 pm
It only gets worse.
2 michael5000 // Oct 22, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Eh, youth is overrated.
3 michael5000 // Oct 22, 2009 at 2:58 pm
UPDATE: Public health nurse just asked me, with a note of concern, “You’re under 49? Really?”
Ouch.
4 mydogischelsea // Oct 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@michael5000 OH my… now THAT is bad.
5 malahat sunset // Oct 22, 2009 at 5:38 pm
The bit with the bartender saying “Oh, OK. Nevermind.” That. Was. Brutal. Ow ow ow! On the other hand, just ignore the seemingly innocent comments from those young whippersnappers. What do they know, anyway?
On the third hand, maybe you could take it easy with the ‘feelin’ old’ complaints, okay? Some of your former nanny/babysitters might start feeling REALLY old, ya know. I mean, if you feel old, how do you think I…I mean, THEY feel?
6 malahat sunset // Oct 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Also, it’s not like you asked, and maybe you’ve since found the answer, but the actress in My Big Fat Greek Wedding is Nia Vardalos.
You’re welcome.
7 michael5000 // Oct 22, 2009 at 8:21 pm
I’M A VERY YOUTHFUL 41 GODDAMIT!
8 Bob // Oct 23, 2009 at 3:19 am
Just remember this young lady, “Age is inevitable, but growing up is an option” I’ll take the latter.
9 lasso // Oct 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Fear not… on November 12 you’ll be the youngest one at the table… dubious clams and all!
10 boo // Oct 24, 2009 at 4:28 pm
You are an adult. You are NOT old. Teens ask adults if they text because often adults say they don’t like it and kind of cut on kids for doing it so much. She likely wouldn’t have asked you if you were old as many teens just assume the old do not text (mine tell me they do this because the text is so small).
And the bartender was a moron. Way not to make a great tip.
I am very happy for you about the house! And maybe it is because I am older that I do not think you are old. You don’t look old. I would totally card you.
11 malahat sunset // Nov 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Lemme see now: from a record FOUR whole blogs in September, to one in October…ah, those MDIC withdrawal symptoms are starting to kick in again.
So how is the search for a house coming? You could do an “Adventures in House-hunting in Portland, OR” blog. Or a blog updating us on Leaky the Farting Dog. Have the slumbertime waterworks ceased? What’s happening, MDIC?
12 mydogischelsea // Nov 4, 2009 at 3:55 pm
My computer died, that’s what happened!! I’ll update as soon as I can. For now, I only have internet when I’m at work.