Why is it that bad parents who ignore their children are allowed to bring them to restaurants, but a well-behaved pup can’t sit at my feet while I eat? I’ve never understood that.
Anyway, yesterday I was eating brunch with some friends on the dog-friendly patio of our favorite coffeehouse while Calla quitely snoozed underneath the picnic table. All of a sudden, a loud bark disrupted our conversation, and I looked beside me to see a small child, about three years old, quickly approaching the bench.
In Calla’s world, she was saying this: “You are an unknown short being that walks kinda funny and off-balance with arms flailing. I do not like you encroaching upon my safe zone. Please do not come any closer.”
I quickly reprimanded Calla for barking and then turned to the child and said, “Sweetie, my dog is scared. Please don’t get any closer to her.”
The girl ignored me.
I tried again. “When dogs bark at you, it usually means they don’t want you to get near them. Calla is a very shy dog and she’s afraid of you.”
“But I’m not scared of her. My dog isn’t scared of me,” the girl said, as if that made her some sort of expert on dog-handling, and started climbing on the bench and sticking her arms under the table, reaching out at Calla’s face. Calla growled. This time I didn’t reprimand—she was doing what she’s supposed to do, which is to warn. I’d much rather have a dog that communicates her fear than one who simply bites when the fear becomes untolerable. Calla is generally tolerant of children, if slightly disturbed by them, and has never bit anyone and I don’t think she’d ever would, but I’d rather not find out.
I pulled Calla by the collar and moved her away from the child. As patiently as I could, I said, “I’m glad you’re not scared, but just because you’re not scared doesn’t mean that she’s not scared. Your dog knows you, but Calla doesn’t know you. You should never approach a dog that is growling or barking at you. Scared dogs can bite you.”
The girl continued to ignore me, and continued to taunt my dog. I finally had to pull the kid’s arm out from under the table, but she nonetheless continued to monkey around on the bench while staring in Calla’s eyes (also a no-no).
Meanwhile, her parents were blissfully chatting at the table behind ours, completely unaware that their daughter had wandered off to stick her fingers into the face of an incredibly timid rescue dog.
So here’s the thing that really fucking pisses me off: if Calla were actually to bite this child, whose parents have evidently neglected to teach her to respect unknown dogs (not to mention to ask if it is OK to pet them), it would be Calla whose life that would be over. Calla would be the one who’d have to be put sleep, not the girl or her oblivious parents. And my poor dog, who has been through who-knows-what in her life, was clearly saying, in the best way she possibly can, “Please stop.” And I was clearly translating to a girl who refused to listen. And yet—one bite and your dog’s dead.
I can thank my lucky stars that Calla is patient. The parents finally noticed the girl and half-assedly reprimanded her for wandering. And, go figure, she ignored them, too, and wandered off somewhere else. Note to those parents, and parents like them (and I’ve encountered many): maybe it’s not Calla who should be leashed—it’s your damn child.
6 responses so far ↓
1 TimsHead // Sep 16, 2008 at 2:38 am
… then the kid wandered out into traffic and was flattened by a steamroller. The parents , however, have yet to notice.
In these parts, a dog wouldn’t necessarily be put down for biting a child, unless the dog was clearly acting aggressively or may have rabies. We’re kinder, gentler folks here in the Upstate.
This is why I advocate child-free restaurant sections, the option of child-free airplane flights, child-free movie screenings, etc. It’s not that I hate children as a rule. It’s just there are so many self-absorbed morons who know nothing about parenting.
2 rubyblue123 // Sep 16, 2008 at 3:57 am
As a parent I feel the vast majority of other parents suck. Having spent my entire Sunday conducting an Adopt-A-Thon at a PetSmart and having to tell little unruly children “Please don’t stick your hands into the cage. You’re scaring the kittens” to no avail while Mommy is zoned out on her Xanax in the dog clothing aisle gave me the up close and personal on how future animal abuser/neglecters are born. I applaud your dedication to Calla and your ability to understand her behavior.
3 malahat sunset // Sep 16, 2008 at 7:46 am
Maybe YOU should have given the little darlin’ a nip to teach her a lesson, as a biter-surrogate for Calla. You sounded mad enough, and they don’t euthanize humans (yet) for biting. (Ha ha, just kidding!). I loved the way you talked to the girl - you would be super at teaching parenting classes to show them how to talk so kids will listen.
4 Boo // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:18 pm
After working in many restaurants I’ve had the unfortunate luck to see so many parents who do not seem to care that their children are unsafe or unkind or just plain rude. I don’t blame the littles obviously. And it crosses all kinds of class things too. Educated or not, some parents just are careless.
I don’t think Calla would be put down here but the parents would have sued and perhaps won.
The thing that gets to me about this is that the girl was able to understand you and she argued with you. Not only was her behavior unsafe, it was flat out rude. Argh!
5 Deb M // Sep 23, 2008 at 9:29 am
I got tired of this happening, so here is my solution. This unsurprisingly brings about a speedy remedy. I call out to a waitperson anxiously–”Excuse me, can you please dial 911 for this lost child? She obviously wandered away from a nearby building and I am sure her parents are worried about her.
It works.
6 Kathryn // Sep 26, 2008 at 2:12 pm
oh do I have things to say about this … but won’t use your comments to do that - it would be way too long
however, I was out with my first dog, Seamus, one lovely summer evening when a little boy wandered over a wee bit too close with his ice cream cone
“be careful”, I warned, “he will eat that”
“no he won’t”, was the reply and the little bugger continued to taunt Seamus with the cone
“SLURP” went the cone “WAH” went the child “She warned you” went the mother
shocking? absolutely!
and yes, children should be leashed and my dogs should be allowed on patios with me