My Dog is Chelsea

In a span of three hours, I cleaned out my inbox and made some serious strides on the neighborhood newspaper. You probably can’t hear it, but I just let out a very loud sigh of relief. At 9 pm tonight, I had 143 unread emails. Now, at midnight? Zero.
I. Am. Good.
An Oprah-esque story coming soon…
Until [...]

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About 2-3 times a year, I get absurdly wasted. Last night was my first of ‘08.
I’ll blame it on the sunshine. The sunshine is what caused me to blow off all of the crap I needed to do on Saturday and instead sit out on the lawn all day with my neighbors. Naturally, we eventually [...]

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Went to work. Came home at 5:45. Mopped up two puddles of urine, collected the chesnuts scattered on the kitchen floor and fed the dog. Played fetch briefly in the courtyard.
At 6:15, I sat down to finish up some edits on a piece for work. At 7, I took Calla for a walk. Got home [...]

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The following telephone conversation with my mother actually happened:
My mother: So, wait. Why did you get a dog?
MDIC: Because I love dogs. And I miss Chelsea. And I wanted a jogging buddy. And dogs are great.
Mother: But she destroys your belongings and pees on your couch?
MDIC: Yes. But she is adorable.
Mother: Ugh. Get rid of [...]

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At my last job, I had a mantra: Like water off a duck’s back.
I would repeat it whenever necessary:
Boss: I need [something impossible or vaguely unethical] by [unreasonable due date].
Me: That’s not possible.
Boss: Make a few phone calls and see if it can become possible.
Like water off a duck’s back. Like water off a duck’s [...]

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