First, let’s deal with an insidious phrase that’s catapulted into insta-ubiquity: Super Duper Tuesday. OK, kids! I realize that it’s going to be a big day, with just shy of half of the states in our union holding some sort of primary/caucus situation. I get that. But what I don’t understand is why the hell the word duper, used as an adjective and not as a noun meaning “one who misleads,” is suddenly acceptable beyond the age of 9.
Come on! The Patriots have a perfect record but you don’t hear anyone talking about the Super Duper Bowl. McDonald’s fries may be available in large portions, but not Super Duper Size. And Superduperman never saved the world from Lex Luther. You get the point. Super is a dumb enough sounding word in its own right—it doesn’t need any help from a rhyming companion.
Now that we’ve taken care of that, let’s move on to what I came here to discuss. Last night I went to a going-away party for two of my good friends who are both leaving for India—one for four months, and the other for six. When they return this summer, they’ll figure out what their next step is—a leap that most likely involves leaving Portland for good. Or at least for a long while.
“I love it here and I want to live here for the rest of my life,” one friend told me. “Which is why I need to leave right now, so that I can experience everything else and then have Portland to come back to.”
As I listened to her, my heart sank, like I’d been unexpectedly dumped with one of those lame “I could spend the rest of my life with you—which is why we need to break up” lines. And it sank even further when I realized that the good majority of my favorite people here have no long-term plans to stay. In fact, several are actively looking for ways out—mainly via graduate programs located elsewhere.
It’s not that I’m looking to settle down and make babies or anything terrifying like that, but I adore this place and don’t have any particular plan to leave. I recently started a new job that I enjoy a lot and, assuming they want to keep me around for a while, I very much intend to stay. I’ve built a kickass community in my two years here—between my friends, ultimate frisbee, volunteer activities and work—and I am in no rush to leave that behind. Not to mention that the city itself has a number of excellent qualities that put it well above most other places I’ve lived.
And I’m happy here. Sure, I miss my family. And New York City and Santa Fe and Colorado and Chicago and Vermont, and maybe someday I’ll go back to one of those places and stay there for an extended period of time. But one of the things I was hoping to do when I moved here was build a more meaningful connection to place and community—the kind I hadn’t had since I left (my original) home. And, now that I’ve done exactly that, it’s unsettling to realize that a major part of that community can just up and move away from me.
9 responses so far ↓
1 michael5000 // Jan 23, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Damn, you’re telling me. So many interesting people trying on our town for size, and too many of them wanting to try out a dozen other places too. I’m to the point where I pretty much pre-screen acquaintances as to whether or not they’ll have some staying power.
“Hello, New Person At Work. Before we exchange pleasantries at the water cooler, let me ask you this: where do you see yourself in seven years?”
“Hmm, you want to travel and spend some time living in Europe? Well, good luck with that. I’m afraid I will not be acknowledging your presence in the meantime. I’ve been hurt too many times before.”
2 TimsHead // Jan 24, 2008 at 4:56 am
What? There’s an election going on? All I know is that Tom Brady may or may not have had a cast on his leg while visiting his supermodel girlfriend, who may have blown off Leonardo DiCaprio. And that Heath Ledger died naked and may have been dating an Olsen twin. You can’t tell me that there’s actually something relevant happening in the world?
I have heard the term Tsunami Tuesday as well, which is certainly image-filled, but use of national disasters in a pejorative context is currently frowned upon. One journalist did point out that Super Tuesday coincides with Fat Tuesday, which I found kind of neat.
Still, the Portland situation is nothing like the Rust Belt. I know so many people who just give up with the job situation (or lack thereof) and disappear, and we lose all the potential benefits of youth and brilliance. Young people are still coming to Portland, which is a good thing.
3 Boo // Jan 24, 2008 at 7:23 am
You are lucky to have found a place where you are happy and the area is as well. Bright young minds becoming involved is something cities around here dream about. I cannot remember the last time someone expressed an interest in staying here. (Including me.)
Good lord I have not heard the duper yet. Whew. That is an irritating term and shows little in the way of creativity. I do use it when puttng on a certain voice though. It’s an annoying character named, June. ^Tsunami is better.
It has to be a bit of a downer to get invested in friendships and have them leave. I know it’s currently the trend to knock teh intratubes but this is one way to keep up with them as they travel.
4 Teague // Jan 24, 2008 at 9:08 am
I think you’ll find that it isn’t really you, but that our age bracket is still in restless stage. I know a lot of people that have long range plan ideas but then want to run off and do something else for a while. A bunch of our eugene friends up and moved to California. Which isn’t nearly as cool as India. Kind of sad really.
5 Lena // Jan 24, 2008 at 11:07 am
I’m sure just because your friends are a bit more restless than you are right now doesn’t mean that they won’t be your good friends always… it just means you will have really super duper places to stay for free when you travel… and thank goodness for the worldwide web!
Besides, sometimes you lose touch with good friends and you both still live in the same city! That one is pretty sad. Distance is just a matter of perspective.
6 Laura // Jan 24, 2008 at 6:43 pm
As for Tuesdays, I’ve recently become a big fan of “Tight-Ass Tuesdays” for discounts on drinks and evening activities.
7 Laura // Jan 24, 2008 at 6:45 pm
As for Portland, it’s high on my list of places to move… and I’m with you, I’m tired of moving and want to find a decent city to stand in awhile.
8 not supergirl // Jan 24, 2008 at 7:40 pm
For what it’s worth, a good friend of mine just moved away, too. He left his morning. He went to Portland.
9 "Dan" // Jan 27, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Laura-
I was thinking a lot about tuesday night also. And I wanted to say this to you: While I may be leaving Portland soon, you should know that I have a good track record of staying in touch with friends, and you’ll always be able to come visit me in exotic places like the midwest!
ps. isn’t duper in that sentence an adverb, since its modifying an adjective?