My Dog is Chelsea

Words that are not actually words drive me nuts. I’m not talking about useful made-up words like “janky” (which means “crappy”) or “trotch” (an excellent swear word). Those kind of words are fine. The ones that bother me are those common slips you hear frequently that are either a massacre of the accepted form of [...]

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A couple of days ago, I posted an “Is it or isn’t it?” quiz. Only three people responded. None got an A+.  Posting the people who got every single answer right would look kind of like this: … … … Instead, I will announce the winners (i.e. participants) in order of degree of correctness. In [...]

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Excuse me, but… WHAT THE FUCK???!?!?! Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a brook, and you put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water—AND BAM! Someone tells you, quite bitchily, that in order to access that brook you must do things in a certain way. As [...]

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Every Thursday over at one of my favorite blogs, there is an “is it or isn’t it?” quiz, in which the site’s proprietor, Michael5000, lists a bunch of things that are and are not examples of the topic at hand. The task, should you choose to accept it, is to correctly guess which things are [...]

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Someone told me that I was “photogenic” at a party over the weekend as we were drunkenly reviewing some Polaroids taken minutes earlier. Excuse me, but “photogenic”????? Ummmm, yeah. I disagree. Pictures of me tend to fall into one of the following categories: Category 1: Laughing pictures that look like crying Category 2: Caught by [...]

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