It’s pretty impressive how pathetically bad Alberto Gonzales’ memory is—it’s hard not to wonder how the hell he gets through life with his apparent case of selective amnesia. Can you imagine what our society would be like if we all had the wonderful privelege of not being able to recall anything?
Police office: Ma’am, do you know what the speed limit is?
Driver: I can’t recall, sir.
Officer: Oh! Well, in that case, here’s a warning—consider it your reminder that you shouldn’t be going 93 in a 35 mile per hour zone. Have a good day!
Teacher: What do you mean, ‘you forgot to study’? Don’t you remember how every day this week we’ve reviewed material for the test?
Student: I don’t recall that.
Teacher: Oh! Well, in that case, here’s an A. Good job!
Mother: It’s 2:30 AM! What are you doing just getting home?! What happened to the 11:00 curfew we discussed? You’re grounded!
Daughter: 11:00? I can’t recall that discussion.
Mother: Oh! Well, in that case, nevermind about the grounding. I’ll go whip together a late-night snack for you.
Yeah, that would be AWESOME. No boundaries. No consequences. No justice system. No Attorney General!
But seriously, is he not just the biggest pile of douchebaggery ever?
6 responses so far ↓
1 lizzy // Apr 19, 2007 at 5:19 pm
The “I can’t recall” defense, if valid, would certainly make my job a lot easier. A lot less interesing, of course, but much easier.
2 rubyblue123 // Apr 20, 2007 at 4:07 am
It’s amazing to me that the big cheeses are excused for conveniently “not recalling” important incidents in the governments working yet the IRS can remember things I did ten years ago. Something very wrong.
3 PhishChica // Apr 20, 2007 at 3:57 pm
It’s funny, considering the indepth interviews about where I was on July 16th, 1992, etc. for the whole AF thing. Obviously you only need to recall pertitent issues in low level govt’ positions. I need to update you guys, soon.
4 WG // Apr 20, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Gosh.. its kinda nothing compared to how many times some Democrats have used that same line in the past.. Hillary Clinton’s 250 “I don’t recall” repetitions during her testimony don’t come close to Gonzales’s. Did you forget?
Bill Kennedy …………… 116
Harold Ickes …………… 148
Ricki Seidman ………….. 160
Bruce Lindsey ………….. 161
Bill Burton ……………. 191
Mark Gearan ……………. 221
Mack McLarty …………… 233
Neil Egglseston ………… 250
Hillary Clinton ………… 250
John Podesta …………… 264
Jennifer O’Connor ………. 343
Dwight Holton ………….. 348
Patsy Thomasson ………… 420
Jeff Eller …………….. 697
5 Jay // Apr 21, 2007 at 5:37 pm
IRC: My novel dearest, that’s where I’ve disappeared for so long.
6 Meredith // Apr 24, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I just like “douchebaggery.” I make no representations re: politics.