How old am I? I’m sorry, I can’t recall my date of birth

It’s pretty impressive how pathetically bad Alberto Gonzales’ memory is—it’s hard not to wonder how the hell he gets through life with his apparent case of selective amnesia. Can you imagine what our society would be like if we all had the wonderful privelege of not being able to recall anything?

Police office: Ma’am, do you know what the speed limit is?
Driver: I can’t recall, sir.
Officer: Oh! Well, in that case, here’s a warning—consider it your reminder that you shouldn’t be going 93 in a 35 mile per hour zone. Have a good day!

Teacher: What do you mean, ‘you forgot to study’? Don’t you remember how every day this week we’ve reviewed material for the test?
Student: I don’t recall that.
Teacher: Oh! Well, in that case, here’s an A. Good job!

Mother: It’s 2:30 AM! What are you doing just getting home?! What happened to the 11:00 curfew we discussed? You’re grounded!
Daughter: 11:00? I can’t recall that discussion.
Mother: Oh! Well, in that case, nevermind about the grounding. I’ll go whip together a late-night snack for you.

Yeah, that would be AWESOME. No boundaries. No consequences. No justice system. No Attorney General!

But seriously, is he not just the biggest pile of douchebaggery ever?

6 thoughts on “How old am I? I’m sorry, I can’t recall my date of birth

  1. The “I can’t recall” defense, if valid, would certainly make my job a lot easier. A lot less interesing, of course, but much easier.

  2. It’s amazing to me that the big cheeses are excused for conveniently “not recalling” important incidents in the governments working yet the IRS can remember things I did ten years ago. Something very wrong.

  3. It’s funny, considering the indepth interviews about where I was on July 16th, 1992, etc. for the whole AF thing. Obviously you only need to recall pertitent issues in low level govt’ positions. I need to update you guys, soon.

  4. Gosh.. its kinda nothing compared to how many times some Democrats have used that same line in the past.. Hillary Clinton’s 250 “I don’t recall” repetitions during her testimony don’t come close to Gonzales’s. Did you forget?

    Bill Kennedy …………… 116
    Harold Ickes …………… 148
    Ricki Seidman ………….. 160
    Bruce Lindsey ………….. 161
    Bill Burton ……………. 191
    Mark Gearan ……………. 221
    Mack McLarty …………… 233
    Neil Egglseston ………… 250
    Hillary Clinton ………… 250
    John Podesta …………… 264
    Jennifer O’Connor ………. 343
    Dwight Holton ………….. 348
    Patsy Thomasson ………… 420
    Jeff Eller …………….. 697

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