My Dog is Chelsea

When I began this blogging endeavor nearly two and a half years ago, I didn’t quite realize its implications. I started it for three reasons: 1) to force myself to write 2) to publish what I had written and 3) to find people who would read what I had published. That much I knew. But [...]

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So back in late February, a whole bunch of my relatives met in Aspen for a family ski vacation. My mother and I both had connecting flights in Denver, and since hers was delayed about five hours, she was still there when I arrived from Portland. We reunited and I bought some food and she [...]

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Yesterday the guy who works at the coffee stand in the lobby told me that I have big arms. Him: So how are you today? Me: Eh, pretty tired. Him: Tired? You know, you think you’re weak and tired, but you look strong. [He curled his biceps and flexed to illustrate his point. Gross.] Me: [...]

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I had a dream last night that involved me trying to draw a world map. I had no trouble with North and South America, but got hung up somewhere between between Scandinavia and the Mediterranean Sea. After I finished the Western hemisphere, you see, the polar ice caps melted, dessimating the world’s coastlines as we [...]

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It’s pretty impressive how pathetically bad Alberto Gonzales’ memory is—it’s hard not to wonder how the hell he gets through life with his apparent case of selective amnesia. Can you imagine what our society would be like if we all had the wonderful privelege of not being able to recall anything? Police office: Ma’am, do [...]

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