[NOTE: Wedding/Thanksgiving story to come.]
I have a friend that we’ll call Dan. His real name is equally as common, if not more so, but I’m changing it anyway for privacy purposes.
Mainly because he’s dating his stalker.
You see, recently, Dan traveled to a midwestern state that rhymes with “Sconsin.” On his way home, he boarded the plane drunk, said a few words to the woman in the next seat, passed out and woke up hungover when the plane arrived back here in “Ortland.”
He didn’t have all that much time to woo the woman beside him, what with his inebriated state and all, but during the short conversation he had at the beginning of the flight and their parting words before deplaning, he managed to tell her this: His name is Dan, he lives in Oregon and he’s a folklorist.
A few days later, he received an email from this woman.
Yes, my friends, she Googled him. She found his email address by searching the words Dan + Oregon + folklore, and somehow, miraculously, circuitously found his contact info. BTW: I just spent the last 20 minutes trying to retrace her path. I consider myself to be a damn good Googler, and the best I could find—after a lot of sleuthing—was his work number and an email address of his that I’ve never used to contact him.
Unperturbed by the extensive research, Dan asked Stalker if she wanted to hang out. They had their first date this weekend and lo and behold she’s a normal human being and didn’t kill him. As it turns out, she’s a friend of a couple of our friends.
Moral of the story: Google knows so much that it can even get you laid.*
* Actually, I don’t think that happened. It was the first date, after all.
22 responses so far ↓
1 michael5000 // Dec 4, 2006 at 3:45 pm
I TOLD you it was a solid product! With Clusty, you’re lucky if you can get past second base.
M5M
2 Anahita Hamidi // Dec 4, 2006 at 3:46 pm
wow that’s crazy! And very brave of him to go on the date anyway! p.s. what’s a folklorist? Oh, nevermind…I’ll just go google it
3 Boo // Dec 4, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Maybe the brief conversation struck a chord that she could not ignore. Some people are like that, they leave solid impressions without ever realizing it.
Googling someone does sound naughty but I don’t know too many people who have not done it, myself included.
^^Clusty can’t get a body to second base? Now that is funny. Or I think it is, I don’t remember second base! tmi. sorry.
4 mydogischelsea // Dec 4, 2006 at 4:18 pm
^ Well, yes, lots of people Google other people (I’ve done it a lot, if you can’t tell), but usually only after you know all the pertinent info: last name, email, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever Googled “Steve + Oregon + doctor” to retroactively contact someone I met in passing. Y’know?
5 TimsHead // Dec 4, 2006 at 5:38 pm
If nothing else, dating a stalker likely reduces the risk of rejection. Hm. Maybe I should be leaving more tags in my Xanga entries …
ryc: Actually, stress still has the upper hand over holiday cheer most of the time. I try to blog while in a good mood.
6 ARboiWundr23 // Dec 4, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Google is the Devil!! But, if you treat it nice…it will reveal the secrets of others. Of course you’ll have to give it your soul by downloading the Google taskbar.
I once Googled (don’t you love that Googled is now part of the American lexicon?) a friends enemy and we got her divorce papers, her credit score, and some not so G-rated pictures…and all we had was her name and hometown.
7 Lynn // Dec 4, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Google knows so much it’s scary. I had to disable the map feature, so that a stalker couldn’t just drive up to my front door! (And I have had a stalker, female. Don’t ask.)
RYC: Oh, rain is so much more easy to deal with than snow! It goes away. It doesn’t slip under you. It’s so temporary. This junk is going to be around a while. It’s cold her and I’m unhappy.
Lynn
8 Meredith // Dec 4, 2006 at 8:13 pm
I have no words save for one. Awesome.
9 Laura // Dec 4, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Wow, could the Google get me laid? Perhaps I should use it as an oracle to do my homework and solve the world’s problems.
Wouldn’t it have been so much easier for the woman to catch a glimpse of your friend’s luggage tag, or - I don’t know - asked him for his number. I’m amazed that any of these “second chance” web meetings ever work.
^^Divorce papers and credit score? I must be a very poor googler after all!
10 Laura // Dec 4, 2006 at 10:18 pm
Also, I’ll keep in mind for future notice to board airplanes while drunk. Thanks for the tip.
11 e // Dec 5, 2006 at 1:28 am
The whole google thing…I hate to admit to it, but the number of times I’ve googled exes to see what they are up to… Blah.
And google is in the German vocubulary as well:
Wie hast du das gefunden?
Das habe ich gegooglet.
(How did you find that?
I googled it.)
12 fern_forest // Dec 5, 2006 at 6:44 am
wow - that’s a ballsy woman there. she must have really been taken by your drunk friend on the airplane during their brief conversations. he must be very very charming to be inebriated, passed out, and still get an internet stalker. wow. that story is more interesting than my entire year. hahahahahahahahaha. you’ve really kind of freaked me out about google. that article link you set not that long ago was an eye-opener. i feel like i should switch my gmail account to another web mail service, but they’ve hooked me. i’m hooked! i should just switch to .mac.
13 Ned // Dec 5, 2006 at 8:17 am
Oh man, I believe it!
You see… I am a google stalker. I have tracked down so many people, I’ve become that creepy person my friends come to when they want dirt on a guy. You know, like i’m sitting in a black room and there’s a little hanging light over a table where I’m taking a drag of cigarette.
I am so tempted to try and retrace her steps as well!
14 James Cooper // Dec 5, 2006 at 8:26 am
I figured I’d arrived in the world when my name started bringing up results relevant to myself in Google. With a common name like mine, particularly one tied to at least one famous figure, I really didn’t expect to show up in the first few pagefuls of hits — but I’m there now and so now I feel accomplished
15 michael5000 // Dec 5, 2006 at 8:33 am
Enjoy it while you’ve got it. I used to have the top two or three Google slots for my name, but now I’ve declined into obscurity/loserhood.
16 "Dan" // Dec 5, 2006 at 11:44 am
Well shucks. First an internet stalker, and now I’m the subject of a blog. What a week. phew.
Bonus points for anyone else that has the time/resources to try to track me down based on the blog entry and the link. Coincidentally, the name Dan is a bit of a clue also. I am curious to know how difficult this whole thing really is (she said her sister actually looked me up and it only took her 20 seconds…)
17 Truly // Dec 5, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Crazy! I love Google and I am constantly on it at work, primarily googling Scottish things that everyone here mentions offhandedly and I have no idea what they are but I really should know, like Blue Marmalade (a furnature company) and Timorous Beasties (a design firm). What would I do without it? Get fired, me thinks.
Anyhow, what do you think of On Beauty? I’ve got to say, I hated the detail-laden begining in much the same way that I hate Stephen King beginings (I actually forced myself to continue past the first 30 pages, telling myself that I have to read this book to study up on what profitable writing looks like–never mind if it’s good or not). But soon, I got sucked into the book, in much the same way as Stephen King. There is lots good about it, although still I think her editor could have coaxed some cutting from that laborious beginning (a description of the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, for godsakes?!?). What do you think? I’m curious what people are thinking about this book–why is everyone reading it?
18 kaz // Dec 8, 2006 at 10:40 am
ryc
Of course I’m doing it again.
I guess maybe because it’s kinda hard to navigate to you or something.
But I DO read it! I sweah I do. F’real.
Thanks for wanting to vote for me. Go to my previous post and click on the VOTE FOR ED KAZ thing. It will take you to that edlives guy (brainfried). Go to his comments and say I WANT KAZ!
Talk about tough navigation…..
19 kaz // Dec 8, 2006 at 10:41 am
Wow. I read it.
Holy Moley! What happens if you google google?
20 kaz // Dec 8, 2006 at 10:42 am
ps
I could use me a good stalkin’.
21 Lynn // Dec 8, 2006 at 1:44 pm
RYC: Well, the kid can be gleeful because of the ending. I think it’s too big of a smile, but I can’t be too picky. It works, and I’m not going to delay the book any more with more monkeying around. I was just glad the kid was blond, because I forgot to specify that. If he had been a brunette then things would have realy been a mess.
And, yes, the angel is better. At the very least, it no longer looks like a romance novel!
Lynn
22 Boo // Dec 8, 2006 at 7:30 pm
ryc: I am not even sure that the some of the people here know that it is rude to say “excuse you” because it is said so often. I wanna move!