Lately, a book tag has been making the rounds in my circle of the blogosphere. Like most blog tags, I had no intention of participating, but a real-life twist made me realize that perhaps I should. You see, the tag I’ve seen takes the form of “best desert island book” or “book you wish you had written” and things like that. My real-life book tag was a bit different.
As some of you may know, my chariot of petroleum-burning fire is a Geo Tracker. A 1997 black Geo Tracker with a tan roof and the oh-so-classy word TRACKER etched in tan on the side. About a month ago, Asa decided he would make Le Traquer into an even more enviable car by removing the soft-top roof altogether. And while the absence of roof has led at least three tweenage girls to say, “Mom! Mom! Look at that cool car!”—a first for my Geo Crapper, admittedly—I can’t say that its rooflessness was my favorite quality.
For one, it was too cold. And then, when it got really hot out, it was too hot and the car provided no respite from the sun. Plus, my hair, which is usually tangled and gnarly to begin with, became a mangy mess of Bon Jovi proportions after about three minutes on the road. Most importantly, without a roof, there was absolutely no façade of security.
Long ago I learned not to store anything of value in the Tracker. Breaking into my car—when it has a roof, that is—involves the oh-so-complicated process of unzipping the back window and climbing inside. So roof or not, my car is no bank vault, but the soft top does act as somewhat of a deterant—at the very least, it demarcates the boundary between private and public property and makes a petty thief pause and take a deep breath before entering.
So I wasn’t particularly surprised the other day when I discovered that someone had extended me the courtesy of rifling through my glove compartment and, evidently realizing that I have nothing worth stealing, leaving its contents sprawled on the passenger seat. What did surprise me were the two items the perp left behind:
Best book you’ve ever found carefully placed in your glove compartment, directly underneath your proof of insurance: A Manual of Zen Buddhism, by DT Suzuki. I haven’t actually read it, but it gets “best” status by default, since it is the only book I’ve ever found carefully placed in my glove compartment other than the car manual. It has a “USED SAVES” sticker on it, which makes me think the perp was a college student—maybe a delinquent one who had to go to summer school. The book may be “used” but it shows no signs of having actually been read by anyone, which is another telltale sign that it belonged to a college student, delinquent or not.
Best book you’ve ever discovered on the floor of your car, next to the A/C power converter you once bought to play a boom box in your car because your stereo never works: Charles Peirce’s Guess at the Riddle: Grounds for Human Significance by John K. Sheriff. Can’t say I’ve ever read this one either. Again, this one is in mint condition—no notes, no “USED SAVES” sticker, nothing but a price tag of $9.95. Not that any of these details matter, since I’ll never really know who or why anyone did this, but I suppose it’s worth contemplating. Much like the meaning of life.
I made Asa put my roof back on. For one thing, it’s been cold around here lately, but moreover, I’d like to semi-deter the next person who feels the need to implant books about the significance of human existence in my glove compartment. The prank just raises more questions than it answers. I mean, really, what are they trying to tell me? That I need to relax? Find religion? Explore the purpose of being alive? Sell my car? Ride my bike?
So there you are. I’d tag you if I could, but I don’t know where you live or which car in the driveway is yours.
10 responses so far ↓
1 TimsHead // Aug 23, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Why are media companies trying to convince us Bon Jovi isn’t absolutely irrelevent now? The band has been putting out songs that pretty much sound the same since the 1980s and just generally suck. Yet ABC and ESPN and the NFL trot the band out of mothballs frequently. I suspect bribery. OK, this whole paragraph qualifies as irrelevent, but something I’d been meaning to say.
I used to live on a major route between the bars and many student apartments and soon noticed things would disappear from my car if I left it unlocked. (Really, I got like a 1350 on my SATs, but can’t do logic in real life.) But very rarely did they ever steal the CDs I (again, stupidly) left in plain view. Should I take that as an insult, an attempted rebuke to my tastes in music? The exception is when someone ejected Everthing But The Girl’s Temperamental from the car’s CD player and absconded with it. But it is, imho, a really good album, so on a certain level I understood. Not that it made me feel any better.
Anyway, back to you — as this is your blog — my theory is that somewhere on the loose is a person who rifles through the belongings in someone’s car and leaves behind books that they really believe will benefit that person’s life.
2 Boo // Aug 23, 2006 at 10:09 pm
It has always been a fantasy of mine to drive round the country slipping books into people’s things here and there. But seeing it from the other perspective through you, if I ever to get to do it, I will pick some seriously wicked titles.
It is getting to cooler over here too. mmmm I love the fall. I can smell it coming. Hope you have your roof back in good order.
And I love 42. I miss that Adams. I’m going to get The Salmon of Doubt out again.
Oh yeah, the rule is that you now have to leave those two books and another of you own in someone else’s car. It’s a new rule.
3 whatever749 // Aug 24, 2006 at 5:07 am
You know it makes you think, would they have taken something valuable and then left the books?
Or was it just to get you to look in the glove compartment?
4 whatever749 // Aug 24, 2006 at 5:07 am
Oh, and you should just cut your hair off. It won’t tangle then
5 thinlizzy17 // Aug 24, 2006 at 5:26 am
I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone leave a book in my car. I have had lots of inconsiderate friends leave coffee cups and other garbage in my car, but that’s more because they’re selfish, inconsiderate slobs than anything else.
I once found a book on an airplane, but I’m sure it was left behind as a sort of book of the commons for anyone to read and then discard again on a different airplane.
6 James Cooper // Aug 24, 2006 at 8:49 am
Fascinating…
Too bad the perp didn’t leave behind an expensive engagement ring for you to find.
7 Corbow // Aug 24, 2006 at 1:54 pm
This sounds like a weird twist on bookcrossing.com. The perp would have to leave the books on top of my car, since I’m obsessive and anal about locking up–even in my own driveway.
The only thing anybody ever leaves in my car is a half-empty can of Diet Coke.
8 TimsHead // Aug 24, 2006 at 6:26 pm
ryc on f_f: Alrighty, so I watched The Adventures of Pete and Pete, but it wasn’t just a kid show. The skewed writing was brilliant. Toby Huss remains a massively underrated comedic talent. And the guest stars! Iggy Pop! Jeaneane Garafolo! The lead singer of The Violent Femmes! So I wasn’t the only older fan.
Or anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
9 fern_forest // Aug 24, 2006 at 6:46 pm
you have the greatest stories ever. hands down. so peculiar about the books. and you know, the fact that you have a black tracker with the word ‘tracker’ written on the side in tan really makes me like you more.
thanks for the e-support that my roommate is nuts.
LOL at tim’s first paragraph. i’m so glad he could get that off his chest.
10 michael5000 // Aug 25, 2006 at 11:17 am
Judging by the information on Amazon, Best book you’ve ever found carefully placed in your glove compartment, directly underneath your proof of insurance is going to be a tough category to compete in. Manual of Zen Bhuddism gets a whopping five stars from its enthusiastic reviewers. “Of tremendously breath-taking range this book gives scope to us myriads of kotis of kalpas of the three thousand chiliocosms with all the essentials for becoming purely enlightened and better-looking Bodhissatvas,” writes one enlighted and good looking, albeit grammar-challenged, Bodhidsatva wannabe. “Pre-eminently readable gathas, sutras, koans,and sacred illustrations to please the young and old alike.”
Best book you’ve ever discovered on the floor of your car, next to the A/C power converter you once bought to play a boom box in your car because your stereo never works, on the other hand, is a soft category. That’s where I see a lot of room to compete. Charles Peirce’s Guess at the Riddle, though it’s kinda expensive, has no reader fans. It also gets dissed by the usually upbeat Library Journal — ouch! — which notes that “the reader of this book will come away as puzzled about Peirce’s answer as he was before reading it. Not recommended.”
purely enlightened and better-looking,
michael5000