Back home in Portland. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, that’s for sure, but I don’t think I really have the energy to convey much of it at the moment.
I can say that I managed to injure my knee by doing a stride jump into shallow water. In case the sheer stupidity of what I did eluded you, let us read from a passage in the Northwest Lifeguard Association Test: “No stride jump in less than four feet of water.” In fact, the Boy Scouts only recommend stride jumping into water “at least 9 feet deep.” Did I mention that the water I jumped into barely came up to my waist?
Did I mention that I used to be a lifeguard?
Of course, I was only one of two people swimming when said stupid action occurred, and with 15 lifeguards on duty for two adults swimming in a tiny lake in a small New England town—this being the most action anyone had seen since Arlo Guthrie was arrested for littering—everyone came running to make sure I was okay.
Which I was, but I left that day with a sore knee and a bruised ego. I mean, REALLY, how dumb can I possibly get?
Limpingly yours,
Mydogischelsea
9 responses so far ↓
1 TimsHead // Jul 15, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Actually, I seem to recall Arlo Guthrie was arrested for littering and creating a nuisance.
Well, that is one way to get a lot of attention. Sorry about the knee. I suspect that will impact your ultimate frisbee participation. Unfortunate though it is, look on the bright side: At least the lifeguards really felt needed that day, and that feeling of being helpful probably brightened their week.
2 thinlizzy // Jul 15, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Are there 27 8×10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back explaining what each one is of your knee and the offending pond?
3 Joe Parisi // Jul 16, 2006 at 4:42 am
Oh Baby ,Sorry you were hurt. Were any of the lifeguards cute? That would
be some consolation. Be well….Joe
4 Boo // Jul 16, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Hope it mends soon and leaves you with no aches. You’ll be the talk of the summer there.
5 Anahita // Jul 16, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Awwh…I’m so sorry to hear you hurt yourself so badly. Don’t beat yourself up, on top of it. ‘Twas an innocent mistake. Feel better soon!!
6 MaximaBella // Jul 16, 2006 at 10:56 pm
I just read about your brother and it broke my heart…I have a 15 yr old brother with some developmental issues, and I just cant imagine losing him.
Have you ever shared on here what happened when he was born to cause the problems?
you’ll be in my thoughts
7 Rubyblue123 // Jul 19, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Sounds like an episode of Baywatch.
8 Jay_Galk26 // Jul 20, 2006 at 7:06 pm
I couldn’t think of anything witty, so I figured I’d latch onto a comment:
“Were any of the lifeguards cute? That would be some consolation.”
Yeah, no shit!
Jay {Brad Pitt…in a robe} “Rawr”
9 Paul Thompson // Oct 17, 2006 at 5:34 pm
So how have things gone since July? We just got back from 3 weeks in Europe. The major sights we saw were old friends in England, Scotland, Provence, and Paris and all the sights in Amsterdam. Adam has moved back to NYC, is working for the Wall St. Journal (the business of sports beat), and is living in Caroll Gardens. It’s really great to have him back.
I was cleaning out my old mail and came across your totally shameless plug. I thought to check out your blog only to find you have retired. I’m going to try to give you a call.
XXX
Paul