The funeral was a nice tribute to my brother; I faced my fear of speaking in public and managed my way through a eulogy. Carole, the woman who took care of Sean for most of his life, had some very beautiful words to say that really captured Sean at his happiest. Thanks again for all of your kind words, comments, emails, phone calls, etc. I very much appreciate the support.
Anyway, just returned from a lovely dinner in New Jersey (betcha never thought “lovely” and “New Jersey” could be used in the same sentence) with Uncle Joe, Grandma and Uncle Joe’s friend Grace.
Grandma, perpetually on edge about one thing or another, started to get nervous about my drive home about halfway through our meal. “Hurry up, finish your food. I don’t want you to drive in the dark,” she kept saying.
Towards the end, I ordered a cup of coffee to keep me alert for the ride home. Since the coffee only prolonged the meal, Grandma started to get even more nervous. The conversation, which had turned toward the topic of environmental sustainability, went something like this:
Grace: I have a friend whose house runs almost entirely off solar power. They purchase only a little bit of energy from the power company, but for the most part, they’re powering their own house.
Me: So they’re pretty much off-the-grid?
Grandma: Finish your coffee.
Joe: Mom, if you don’t shut up about her getting on the road, I’m going to beat you to a pulp.
Me: You know, logic would dictate that I relax and wait for the glass of wine I had with dinner to wear off.
Grandma: No, I don’t want you to drive home in the dark.
Grace: I really think that more people in your generation are in tune with environmental issues. You guys are going to be at the forefront of the green movement.
[As Grace is talking, Grandma not-so-subtlely begins to peer into my coffee mug to find out how much more I had left to drink.]
Me: It’s going to be my generation’s responsibility to take that stand—we really won’t have a choice.
Grandma: It’s your generation’s responsibility to finish your coffee.
Welcome to my family.
13 responses so far ↓
1 Boo // Jul 8, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I’m sure you spoke eloquently. I read Uncle Joe’s post before commenting so I cheateda bit. But you do have a grace with words. Glad you are heading back to normalcy (or as normal as any life gets).
You build such characters with the family dialogue. They seem familiar.
Best to you.
2 Rachel // Jul 9, 2006 at 7:44 am
I subscribed to your xanga. I just love reading what you write. What is your occupation? Or are you still going to school? I know it must be something in literature.
3 TimsHead // Jul 9, 2006 at 9:34 am
Did Uncle Joe really say that to your grandmother? Funny! My mother has a fear of driving in the dark, so the general line of thinking is familiar.
One of the more interesting pieces I read in the Generation X thesis/manuscript research was a forward Bob Guccione Jr. wrote in Karen Ritchie’s Marketing to Generation X. Guccione, a boomer himself, took his own generation to task for leaving a burgeoning environmental mess that Xers would have to clean up. And I remember in college it seemed like some classmates were the first people I’d ever met who were environmentally active and it seemed about then (late ’80s/early ’90s) that such thoughts moved mainstream. Of course, the eco-friendly group on campus got the administrators to stop using Styrofoam® in 1989 … and then later studies found this was less wasteful than using paper products. Although maybe that conventional wisdom has since been reversed? In any event. they meant well.
I’m not the least bit surprised you could do a good eulogy. While fear of speaking is hardly uncommon — especially among writer types — I think you’ve always expressed yourself well not only on the page but even in person in a van (that authorities thought was running drugs) hurtling through the northwest. I’m sure you did great!
4 pina_la_nina // Jul 9, 2006 at 1:23 pm
“Your generation’s responsibility to finish your coffee”, omg, that is priceless, beautiful even.
5 Paul // Jul 9, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Sorry I missed you at dinner, I was on a fishing trip with my two brothers and three nephews. Hope to make to Portland with Joe and have that steak. So like Grandma, can’t wait to get there and then can’t wait to leave.
Paul
6 Jaki O // Jul 10, 2006 at 5:11 am
Your grandma is cute with her worrying. I’m glad to hear the funeral was nice. Your brother deserved it.
7 rubyblue123 // Jul 10, 2006 at 5:55 am
Grandmas – ya gotta love ‘em. I can only hope that our generation does step up to the plate and become responsible for our planet although the changes we’ve seen so far move way too little and way too slowly. How do we kick a generation in the ass?
I’m glad you fared well with your brother’s eulogy. I’ve always imagined (and hope not to find out any time soon) that that particular speaking engagement has got to be the most difficult.
8 Emily // Jul 10, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Grandparents are hilarious…
9 Anahita // Jul 10, 2006 at 8:51 pm
awwhhh your Grandmother sounds like an interesting lady =)
10 Gabe // Jul 11, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Just came by to send some Positive Vibes, and perhaps top-up your coffee?
Take care of you,
Gabers
11 Meredith // Jul 12, 2006 at 7:53 am
I love this. This was totally my grandma too.
My friend The Laura and I had dinner in NJ the other night and while it was lovely, the people-watching was…unparalleled. It was only after I loudly began to narrate like a nature show host that the waiter politely (polite for NJ, anyway) asked us to vacate the table.
12 Lynn // Jul 14, 2006 at 5:10 pm
Grandma sounds just like the one in Janet Evanovich’s mysteries. I don’t know if you’ve ever read them, but they feature a grandmother who just Does Her Own Thing.
Lynn
13 fern_forest // Jul 14, 2006 at 5:32 pm
i’m so sorry about your brother. much love and many hugs to you!!
(that quote goes down in great granny quotes of all time
)