So I think I’ve mentioned this before, but it merits another post—my local post office is the best post office ever. Do you like how I used the word ‘post’ three times in the last sentence? Yeah, me too.
I was mentioning how much I love going to our post office to Asa the other day, and he said that he heard it’s won an award for the best postal customer service ever. I have no idea if there’s even a modicum of truth to that statement, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be surprised. It feels more like a stand-up comedy joint than the typical disgruntled hellhole I’m used to—at least that’s the way post offices are in New York City. There, you can barely hear the postal worker through the 6 inches of bulletproof plexiglass let alone engage in any sort of witty banter.
But not here in Portland. Here, I actually enjoy waiting on line at the BPOE (best post office ever). If there’s no line, then you’re in and out too quickly and you don’t get to savor the brilliance that is Robert and The Guy Whose Name I Do Not Know. I’ve never been to the BPOE when Robert and TGWNIDNK were not working, but I pity the person who has to fill their shoes on their days off.
On Friday, I cruised on over to the BPOE to overnight a résumé—last minute, per usual—and the woman waiting in front of me was holding two USPS boxes in her arms.
TGWNIDNK, realizing that his particular outpost does not sell said boxes, yelled over to her: “Where’d you buy those? Fred Meyer or Walgreen’s?”
“Walgreen’s,” she responded.
“Uh huh! I knew it.”
So then he went back to giving the person at the counter a hard time for not having fully completed the address form. This is the best thing about the BPOE—no matter how prepared you are, these guys will find a way to bust your balls for not being ready enough. Once I tried to mail something without knowing the ZIP code and the guy asked me if I wanted the tooth fairy to deliver it for me.
Anyway, after the woman completed her address form and moved on, TGWNIDNK summoned the lady in front of me: “Hey Walgreen’s! Get over here, you’re up!”
It’s not that these guys are saying anything profoundly funny, it’s just that it’s the post office and you’re not expecting anyone to be in a good mood. At most other post offices I’ve been to, everyone on line taps their feet and checks their watches every 1.2 minutes; at the BPOE it’s more typical to hear people bust out in laughter than get annoyed for having to wait.
When it was my turn, I asked for some 1 cent stamps and Robert looked at me suspiciously.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I still have a lot of the old stamps,” I explained.
“Well, unless you want to sit around and lick stamps all day, you’re gonna want the 2 cent kind. Is one sheet enough? Well, if not, you’ll just have another excuse to come back and hang out at the post office.”
And that, my friends, is good postal service.
6 responses so far ↓
1 fern_forest // Jun 13, 2006 at 4:43 pm
wow, after that tooth fairy comment i REALLY want to work there. i could be a tagwenidink too.
2 Alan // Jun 13, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I want to come and visit you and hang out at the post office.
3 TimsHead // Jun 13, 2006 at 5:53 pm
A personable post office is priceless! For many years, the main people working the counters at our local were an older wiseass and a skinny funny guy with an earring (who, despite his marriage and children, may have been in denial about something … not that there’s anything wrong with that).
I was in there once around the holidays, and behind me a lady came in with a fruitcake. The older worker said: Fruitcake coming up! as if it’s a common event. Earring guy replied: I bet you get it. As the line snaked alone, they kept bantering about — talking smack, perhaps you could say — who would be stuck with the fruitcake. This was fairly typical of their entertainment.
The older gentleman has since retired: He’s enough of a personality that it earned a nice feature story in the local paper. The earring guy also seems to have moved on. The post office has new and competent and friendly enough people in their place, but I do miss the outsized characters and running bits of comedy.
4 Jay_Galk26 // Jun 13, 2006 at 6:32 pm
The mailwoman steals my mail, so guess you would be able to guess how I feel about the post office.
Jay {Brad Pitt…in a robe} “Rawr”
5 Chicagoartgirl23 // Jun 14, 2006 at 3:56 am
The BPOE sounds fantastic. My post office is bland except when I go and inevitably pass out, since I typically pass out whenever I am sstanding in really long lines. But they are really nice about it and it lets me scurry to the front, which is good since at that point I am super embarressed and have probably farted or done something equally mortifying on my way down to unconciousness. The post office in my tiny hometown in MI has no lines really, but it has a weirdo postal worker who thinks that everyday is her day to go to the mall and ger Glamorshots. Her hair is enormous and her makeup is exstensive.
6 Boo // Jun 14, 2006 at 11:00 pm
This makes me want to go inside and check it out again. Since the machines have made it possible to even mail packages without assistance I haven’t entered to speak to an actual person. But then I end up going there when it is convenient and that often turns out to be around 2 or 3 A.M. Which is why I have come to love those machines. I may have to name them.
Very cool to find a place where personalities still carry some power and it remains pleasant!