My Dog is Chelsea

My neighbors went off to the coast for a couple of days, leaving yours truly in charge of their dog and potbelly pig.
“Eww, how disgusting!” was my mother’s reaction to the idea of a pig as my next door neighbor.
Actually, Girdie isn’t disgusting, per se, but she sure takes some getting used to. First, there’s [...]

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I grew up in New York City on the ground floor of a brownstown. This meant we had access to a backyard—a very rare commodity in Manhattan—but since the tall buildings blocked out most of the direct sunlight, we couldn’t have a lawn. Determined to have one anyway, my parents installed a 10×10 green carpet [...]

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Okay, so maybe ’self-restraint’ is more of a euphemism for ‘pickiness.’ It all started when Chelsea’s dog food ran out on Friday and I forgot to pick up a new bag before the pet shop closed. Her brand, a sweet potato and fish blend, isn’t available at the grocery store, but I needed to feed [...]

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Our neighbor to the south has a habit of walking around naked in front of her open windows. I’ve never seen it myself, but Asa has reportedly seen her at least three times cruising the house sans clothes. Apparently, late Saturday night she had a gentleman caller—also naked—and Asa, who woke up in the middle [...]

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The Canadian border patrol dude spoke as if he knew me:”So you’re going to Vancouver, eh?” he asked. He spoke congenially, but it still felt as if I was reporting to the principal of my elementary
school circa 1989—after all, he was walking me to the car to retrieve Chelsea so he could safely search our [...]

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