My Dog is Chelsea

February 12, 2006 shall herein be known as The Day I Laid It All Out There. I laid out. I went ho. I made a bid. I think those are the terms, anyway—I’m new to this sport.You see, when I moved to Portland in September, Asa dragged me—kicking and screaming, of course—to my very first [...]

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One of the perks of working at a grocery store is that you occasionally get to take home the expired products that can no longer wait on the shelves for a customer to buy them. This is why I was the recipient of four cans (yes, cans) of sparkling wine.
My coworker told me that they [...]

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Okay, so a couple of posts ago I mentioned that Qwest employees have had their brains surgically removed. Let’s discuss, shall we?
When you order DSL through Qwest, without fail they tack on some sort of “MSN Package” to your plan, which they neglect to inform you costs extra AND is totally unnecessary. Sample dialogue:
Me: So [...]

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Yesterday I saw the end of a rainbow.
There was no pot of gold, unless it was buried in the silt where the Willamette River melts into the Columbia. The light just sort of ended, right there, on the water.
I swear it’s true. Asa saw it, too. Chelsea would have seen it as well, but she [...]

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Okay. I’m stressed out. I don’t have time to write why. So we’ll just leave it at that.
In other news, you can read this chart I wrote for the newspaper if you’re bored, which, I must say, looks a hell of a lot better in print than it does on the web. Or this, and [...]

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