Our government officials should learn to play golf instead

It’s a good thing that Harry Whittington looks like he’s going to live—otherwise millions of people would have to change their bumper sticker to this:

“Guns don’t kill people, vice presidents kill people.”

I mean, really. What a goddamn moron. In his interview, Dick Cheney said that the reason he didn’t immediately tell the press is because none of his press people were around. Oh, darn. I just made a big fucking mistake and no one but my cronies was there to see it. Guess it didn’t happen!

Wouldn’t it be so nice to be so lucky? To just sorta decide when to report something like that? After all, history is written by the people who control it.

14 thoughts on “Our government officials should learn to play golf instead

  1. I really love the fact that this happened, gives me so much to goof on now amongst friends.
    Jay {you open your mouth and I’m grounded once more} “Rawr”

  2. Um, I just want to say that this story has been hilariously funny to me. And your fine wit and intelligent writing have stepped up again to make it even more delightful :-)

  3. Last night, at a seafood restaurant, I overheard a chatty table of middle-aged women talking about Cheney’s stupid move. They even went so far as to say that all democrats hope that the lawyer dies so that way they can use it to tear “us” republicans down.Right, because people really want this man to die for the sake of politics. Riiiight.I hate Fucking Alabama sometimes.

  4. Didn’t call the press? He didn’t even call the police. Its handy he has his own ambulence. I heard the doctor who worked on Whittington didn’t even notify anyone.

  5. sorry, but this lurker needs to comment: i think we need to distinguish between a hunting accident, which most probably wasn’t planned, and the failure to report it directly to the press, which was a stupid mistake. it’s too easy to just blame everything on someone one doesn’t like.

  6. History also tells us that arrogance in government has a way of biting someone on the ass. Just ask King George how his American Colonies are doing, or query Marie Antoinette on how difficult it is to eat cake when you’ve lost your head (literally).This is what my history degree has brought me: cold comfort.

  7. Frankly, I feel bad for Mr. Cheney: when a robot’s battery runs low, it is easy to mistake an orange clad human for a quail. I wonder if a solar Cheney would enounter less problems in these out-of-doors hunting situations than the current battery operated Cheney model. Har. I’ve got to laugh–if I stop fear sets in. Hey, in other news, I liked your frisbee golf post. I am fan of the frisbee throwing. Shaun and I resolved to get good at it last summer and by August we weren’t half bad. Perhaps this summer we can try frisbee golf. Maybe Cheney would like frisbee golf. Or maybee he would just mistake an orange clad man for a frisbee and throw him.

  8. He didn’t not report it, he just waited a little while. Considering that it wasn’t exactly a pressing issue (although the guy did have a minor heart attack later), it just seems like people are jumping at a chance to make fun of him. Not that I oppose that or anything, but it just seems like people are just overreacting about the whole thing…

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