My Dog is Chelsea

It’s not my finest piece of writing, but it’s in print, so there’s no going back now. Here’s my first article for the Willamette Week. And holy crap, did this thing get edited! I’ve never experienced such a dissection of my work by so many other people, but I suppose that if this is the [...]

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Okay, so what’s all this talk of a new Xanga web editor thing? Mine looks exactly the same as it used to. In fact, ever since I upgraded Firefox to the latest version, my WYSIWYG editor hasn’t functioned at all and I’ve been relegated to using HTML code. (Actually, that’s not exactly true; I can [...]

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I’ve tried to spice up the boredom of dishing out curried chicken salad by adding a new element of surprise to my job: The Deli Counter Trivia of the Day.So far, I’ve only come up with four questions, two of which were blatantly stolen from a Trivial Pursuit: Know It All edition, so I’m looking [...]

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Oh sleep and free time, how I miss thee. I need to find another line of work, me thinks, one that affords me the luxury of having enough time to breathe. I interviewed someone for an article yesterday who said that he only has to work five to ten days a month in order [...]

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The Iceman reported today that he was orginally mistaken about his age. “I’m not 203,” he said. “I’m 544.”
As some of you might remember, a few months ago a man entered my place of employment and announced that he was just two centuries old. This turned out to be a lie.
“But you said you were [...]

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