I found a dollar bill in my room with a bite chewed off. Yum. My dog may have entirely lost her marbles.But I’m not sure. Yeah, she’s 12 years old. She’s either deaf or really good at ignoring me. Her eye lids are often so droopy that they close and cause her to crash into things. Her hind legs suffer from what looks like a fairly painful case of arthritis. While all of this amasses to a very convincing “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to eat your wallet” schtick, I’m not entirely ready to believe she’s as innocent as she acts.
I’ve seen this dog pull off a fake limp before. She’s no dummy. When she decides that she’s walked far enough, suddenly she can’t put any weight at all on one of her paws. People on the street have even stopped to make sure that she isn’t severely injured—”Did your puppy break her leg? Will she be okay?”—that’s how convincing her limp can be. But turn back in the direction of home, and suddenly Chelsea is in tip-top shape, barrelling down the sidewalk like a dog chasing a very mobile leg of lamb.
Suspicious? I think so. I bet when she hears me tell someone she’s deaf, she smiles on the inside and makes a beeline for the nearest seemingly inedible object. “I didn’t hear you say don’t eat the neighbor’s bag of fertilizer” her eyes say to me.
I’m not falling for that shit anymore.
24 responses so far ↓
1 sunshineboy78 // Oct 27, 2005 at 8:51 am
Chelsea has pretty rich tastes, Unfortunately, our puppy just eats garbage. We will be in Sacramento on Nov. 5, competing in the World Championships. If you’re not doing anything and want to be a cheering squad, we might be able to find you accomodations. Other than that, I think it’s like 25 dollars to watch.
2 rubyblue123 // Oct 27, 2005 at 8:52 am
Does she do the tripod in the snow as well? That’s how mine get out of hanging in the yard for more than a few minutes in the winter. They certainly are sneaky buggers. Although I can say since my dalmatian’s twelve as well that I cut her more slack than I probably should. Let’s just say I know her days are numbered and her shenanigans don’t bother me as much. Maybe Chelsea knows she can tug at your heartstrings too.
3 momsahippiechick // Oct 27, 2005 at 9:15 am
I think chelsea, and dogs in general, know a lot more than we give them credit for. If she was really smart, she’d learn to eat good things, like Godiva Chocolate, filet roast or tollhouse cookies!
Thanks for making me laugh!
Great weekend.
4 mundanelunacy // Oct 27, 2005 at 9:38 am
multiple personality disorder. definitely.
5 zmftimelord // Oct 27, 2005 at 9:59 am
Animals are so wonderful, even when they get bitchy and sneaky. I want to beat up those people that say animals have no souls.
6 chublin // Oct 27, 2005 at 10:07 am
i wonder if she’ll crap quarters…
7 MaximaBella // Oct 27, 2005 at 12:29 pm
LMFAO..Chelsea needs to hook up with my 14 yr old Basset/Yellow Lab Lucy..
Mine is no fool either, she walks with a limp, as I suppose anyone whos belly was only 2 inches from the ground would…coupled with hip dysplasia and old age would…
But Lucy exaggerates…she could be hauling ass down the drive way one minute, and then when you say, ‘Lucy, come in the house’…she saunters..limps, goes slower than a turtle and pretends she is hard of hearing..
8 kierplablo // Oct 27, 2005 at 12:35 pm
nope. that’s why I apologized ahead of time for the loop. It’s just a 10 second loop I made in five minutes. goofing around. Maybe I’ll go somewhere else with it… if I play my cards right, perhaps.
9 colette_and_moi // Oct 27, 2005 at 12:56 pm
Poor puppy!
10 natkat // Oct 27, 2005 at 1:15 pm
natasha’s dog ate a box of godiva chocolate once. the weird thing was that she didn’t eat the wrappers.
11 TimsHead // Oct 27, 2005 at 1:42 pm
She’s shifty, that Chelsea. A veritable mastermind.
12 Gnarlysurf // Oct 27, 2005 at 3:24 pm
RYC: I don’t think anyone from work reads my site and if they do they surely don’t comments. BASTARDS!
13 thinlizzy17 // Oct 27, 2005 at 3:30 pm
So, now she’s up to having eaten around $21 in cash and a wallet (among other things)? I’m taking my money out of municipal bonds and putting it in Chelsea. I won’t earn any interest, but at least I know it’s a sure thing.
14 Rod_Lamour // Oct 27, 2005 at 3:30 pm
As Many as possible!
15 Jay_galk25 // Oct 27, 2005 at 4:04 pm
I tell ya, your dog and mine, are brilliant. Mine has this thing for letting himself out of the yard, running off for an hour, and coming back, pretending like nothing happened. He’s brilliant I tell ya, brilliant. But if he ever ate my money…watch out.
Jay (I was never the same again after that summer) “Rawr”
16 geekgoddiss // Oct 28, 2005 at 4:40 am
LOL that’s great! Never knew of such a mischievious dog before! Hide the laxatives. Funny as that would be, you’d have a lot to clean up if she ate those.
17 StigmataMartyr42 // Oct 28, 2005 at 5:58 am
Dude, you gotta put the smackdown on your doggie. Dogs are fascinating creatures, they have like extra senses that humans don’t. That is like so cool, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they do play games like you described on purpose. I can’t believe that she eats fertilizer and all that, ha ha ha. Not laughing at your dog btw.
Take care.
18 sunshineboy78 // Oct 28, 2005 at 6:35 am
You’ve been tagged, check my site to see what you’ve been tagged to do.
19 aropeofsand // Oct 28, 2005 at 12:30 pm
Your dog is crafty! My cat would do things like that, I don’t doubt it.Watch your wallet!
20 doctorperky // Oct 28, 2005 at 3:47 pm
My dog did a fake limp once too. Our puppy had (literally) growing pains and was limping and getting all kinds of sympathy, so Feynman faked a limp. Trouble was, she couldn’t remember which leg was supposed to be hurt. It wasn’t very convincing.
21 fern_forest // Oct 29, 2005 at 9:41 am
LMAO. fake limp. that is too much :-D.
22 chicagoartgirl23 // Oct 29, 2005 at 10:37 am
I think you’ve made Chlsea everyone’s favorite e-pet. ::smile::By the way–how much do you dig that movie? I was totally into it, if only for the animated jelly blob thingies and the cool conversation that ensued afterwards.
23 Rod_Lamour // Oct 30, 2005 at 1:25 am
The Chello has never lost the ability to charm her audience
24 aropeofsand // Nov 1, 2005 at 9:39 am
Sadly, it was very true. In fact, the real version had a lot more running around and panicing.