Yes, it’s true. The title of this post pretty much says it all: my dog ate my wallet. Granted, it was my old wallet, the one I wrote about here, the one I got for fifty cents at the Goodwill in Colorado Springs during my freshman year of college. But it was a classic—vintage, if you will, if such a word can be applied to a nylon-and-velcro object from the early 90s—and it was purple. It was purple because it was a Colorado Rockies wallet.
So not only did Chelsea eat my wallet, she ate a wallet donning the insignia of baseball’s unquestionably worst.team.ever, one carrying no money (thankfully—we all know that Chelsea is somewhat of an ATM) and holding only my old drivers license and a couple of bygone business cards.
Worthless as that thing was, Chelsea nevertheless deemed it good enough to eat, and ate everything save one little piece of purple nylon and some foam padding, which is the only reason I ever would have known how the silly thing went missing in the first place.
This leads me to wonder: what other objects in my life have I wrongly blamed my irresponsible and disorganized self for misplacing? How many of my things have disappeared from plain sight only to enter a journey through the digestive track of an elderly Springer Spaniel? And just how many times have I scooped poop containing remnants of my belongings?
13 responses so far ↓
1 MaximaBella // Oct 21, 2005 at 9:14 pm
your comments have been..fabulous! Must have been the full moon..
ANYHOO…
Chelsea FREAKING AT YR WALLET??? I read this post, and Im like, didnt the dog just eat a damn 20???
sure enuf…
2 anth0nyc // Oct 21, 2005 at 9:18 pm
sillydog!
3 TimsHead // Oct 22, 2005 at 3:31 am
Chelsea is becoming a virtual vacuum cleaner/organizer/personal Clean Sweep crew lately. Don’t let her loose at the bank, whatever you do!
4 thinlizzy17 // Oct 22, 2005 at 4:35 am
Sounds like maybe you should put your piggy bank, change jar, wallets, purses, money, bank books, passports and anything else having to do with money or value in a Chelsea-free space.
It’s really too bad you don’t have homework to do. She could eat it for you and finally someone would legitimately be able to use that age-old excuse.
5 Gnarlysurf // Oct 22, 2005 at 5:31 am
Why don’t you just name her Hoover? Tee he he
6 rubyblue123 // Oct 22, 2005 at 7:44 am
I feel your pain. I often only know about eaten objects when I’m cleaning up the yard. They’re lucky they’re so cute.
7 geekgoddiss // Oct 22, 2005 at 8:19 am
That is hilarous! I love Chelsea–she gives you such good things to write about
8 aropeofsand // Oct 22, 2005 at 9:59 am
The title of your blog definitely does not lead hints as to what the entries will be about!Wallets now, but what next? Check books? Purses? Hand bags?
9 x_defying_gravity_x // Oct 22, 2005 at 11:05 am
Haha I love stories about your dog…My dog doesn’t eat anything random although the dog we babysit for eats kleenex *shudder*
10 Blanco_DM // Oct 22, 2005 at 9:10 pm
countless?
11 Jay_galk25 // Oct 23, 2005 at 12:47 pm
What’s brilliant about this is now we know where all the missing things we’ve ever lost have gone to, the dog eats them.
Jay (I was never the same again after that summer) “Rawr”
12 perfectsymmetry // Oct 23, 2005 at 8:29 pm
Dearest most darlingest Chelsea…she doesn’t get stomach aches from eating such things??!
13 sunshineboy78 // Oct 24, 2005 at 4:37 am
I think Jay is brilliant. I’m missing a pair of sunglasses, a number of DVDs and a white elephant. Have you see any of these in Chelsea’s poo?