“You make a mean espresso,” a customer said to me as left the store the other day.
“Best coffee in Santa Fe,” said another as he finished off his macchiato.
I guess it doesn’t take much to make me glow. I think I may have bragged about my mean espresso to just about everyone I know in Santa Fe. Somehow, that one little silly sentence has cancelled out everything else I heard this weekend:
- “Shaking hot tea on ice waters it down.” [Note: This is not true. It waters it down too much only if you didn't brew the tea strongly enough to begin with.]
- “The tapioca balls in your bubble tea are chewy and they stick together too much.” [Note: This is probably true. C'est la vie.]
- “The coconut-PINapple smoothie wasn’t very good.” [emphasis added; spelling error intentional]
- “This kombucha tastes bad.” [When has kombucha ever tasted good?]
- “The cake is stale.” [Fair enough, it probably is.]
- “This cookie is too hard—I don’t want it.” [They're always hard. They're biscotti.]
- “The coffee is too weak. Ick. Nevermind, I don’t want this.” [And I even brewed it stronger than I'm supposed to.]
- “I said half and half, I don’t want this if it has milk in it.” [Worse crimes have been committed.]
- “You don’t have skim milk?” [You heard me the first time.]
- “I’ll have a grande mocha frappucino.” [Did you get lost on your way to Starbucks?]
One little compliment and I can ignore the rest of the complaints. One good tipper and I have forgotten about the dude who left me a nickel. A handful of nice customers cancels out the rest. Really, I am not that hard to please.
I think, though, I’ve taken the mean espresso thing to the extreme—my stomach muscles are sore today from wrestling with the espresso grounds all weekend. Perhaps I don’t need to tamp it so much—after all, a mean espresso could very easily become quite angry.
And then I’ll get another complaint.
17 responses so far ↓
1 x_defying_gravity_x // Jul 25, 2005 at 8:31 am
It’s so true though…I have customers yell at me or my coworkers all the time. And yes they put you in a bad mood but it only takes ONE really nice person to make everything okay again…
2 sunshineboy78 // Jul 25, 2005 at 8:57 am
I’d like to complain about my coffee, it was cold by the time it got here.
3 jaki_o // Jul 25, 2005 at 9:12 am
That’s resume material right there.
4 Jules27 // Jul 25, 2005 at 9:16 am
Wow, God bless everyone in customer service, I don’t know how you do it. You seem to be cut out for it, since in my case, the one nasty comment cancels out all the kind ones.
5 chublin // Jul 25, 2005 at 11:10 am
this blog has too many nuts. or maybe it’s nutmeg. either way, i want a new one.
6 derf6179 // Jul 25, 2005 at 11:26 am
It so easy for others to criticize what you do. If they give you money they expect to be able to talk to you like you’re some lower form of life. That’s my experience in food-service.
7 fern_forest // Jul 25, 2005 at 3:10 pm
i can so relate to that. i make a damn fine cappucino and whenever someone would notice my mad milk-foaming abilities, i would beam with pride. glad someone is noticing your skills.
8 TimsHead // Jul 25, 2005 at 4:23 pm
It’s similar with your day job of journalism. I’ve seen so many alleged PR experts always telling audiences that you don’t thank reporters, even if you really like their article, because they’re just doing their jobs. And yet when I was an editor, just one compliment really stood out from the ten hours per day of mind-numbing copy-editing, the neurotic coworkers and the random callers who accused you of bias/coverup/incompetence. Really, a few nice words will always go a long way.
9 StigmataMartyr42 // Jul 25, 2005 at 8:41 pm
I remember another time you wrote about a dieting lady who thought that skim milk would magically erase the pounds. lol silly folks indeed. So the chicken bones still appearing on the lawn? Too bad there aren’t any squirrels and bunnies like there are here. We even have huge crickets thout would probably eat the bones. Take care.
10 Gabe_Real // Jul 25, 2005 at 10:45 pm
It’s that one customer who values your assistance | expertise and acknowledges your hard work – that makes all those other experiences bearable. I’m all over a mean espresso (I could sure use a doppio on the go).. And why is it that when people order biscotti – they complain it’s too hard. It’s biscotti – *twice baked*. If they want something softer – they should carry around a box of Gerber Arrowroot cookies… Heh.Positive Vibes!
11 Rod_Lamour // Jul 26, 2005 at 2:37 am
Reading this makes me glad that my resturant days are far behind me. I had a nasty old customer one Sunday morning at Broome Street who insisted we were ripping her off by charging her .75 cents for a doudle side of toast. I had enough of her moaning through out the meal and finally suggested “Why don’t you wake up on a Sunday morning go into your own kitchen slip that ZIRCON ( Fake Diamond ) off your finger and scramble your own eggs ” Oh the satisfaction I felt from the look that crossed her face. Love you
12 HaveyoumetGreg // Jul 26, 2005 at 4:19 am
My personal favorite from my restaurant days is the women who will order a greasy pastrami sandwich (the best kind, by the way) and a big bag of chips, then a diet soda and convince themselves that they’re being sensible.
13 Jay_galk25 // Jul 26, 2005 at 4:45 am
This reminds me of my life, compliment, 12 crits, compliments, more crits, like a never ending cycle of “Jay, face it, your fucked.”
Jay “I Love Kat Rawr”
14 Coccinella // Jul 26, 2005 at 6:01 am
Hilarious as usual. Hey, thanks for your comment, I appreciate it. I hope you’re doing well…have you tried a mocha freeze from Borders Books yet?? man o man…delicious
15 kierplablo // Jul 26, 2005 at 10:28 am
I used to get tipped in weed. I never asked, but I guess I had that potsmoker look… I don’t know. Four different people used to regularly tip me with it though. That usually cancelled out anything bad that might happen that day because hell, nothing bothers me after free weed when I’m surrounded by coffee and sweetbreads.
16 chicagoartgirl23 // Jul 26, 2005 at 11:25 am
Ahhh, the life of a barista! You bring back memories. I wanted to lock the cafe doors Sunday after church let out. What would Jesus do? HE WOULD TIP, GOD DAMN IT! Buggeration is all I can say to the preachy non-tippers.
Also, the worst thing I ever did was unintentionally dump icy-colf Frappachino on a coworkers head while a long line of coustomers looked on. Crazy busy. Too many cooks in the kitchen. I am a clutz. That was my worst day as a barista. Yowza!
17 chicagoartgirl23 // Jul 26, 2005 at 11:26 am
oops–cold, I mean. Icy cold, not icy colf. ugg…serves me right for blogging at work.