I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut, and not just when it comes to keeping secrets. I have this really bad habit of saying ‘yes’ before I’ve realized that I should have said, ‘no,’ or offering to do favors that I have absolutely no desire to do whatsoever.
For instance: my neighbor who talks a lot got a flat tire a few weeks ago. I was running late to my internship, as usual, and just pulling my car out of its spot when he came out of nowhere and knocked on my window.
I rolled it down. “Good morning, Roger!”
“Hey. Do you have a Big Fancy Flat Tire Fixer Tool With A Complicated Name?” he asked. “I have a flat tire and I need to get to work.”
Sadly, I did not, but I offered the next best thing: a ride to work.
I need a little voice inside my head to tell me, “Mydogischelsea, honestly, you’re already running late, you have no idea how far away his work is, and isn’t it a little early to be berated by his neverending stories?”
But alas, I have no such sense of reason. Roger climbed into my car before I could finish asking him where his work was. As it turned out, he worked in the opposite direction of where I do, and he was blabbing away so much that he neglected to point out three turns I should have taken. Needless to say, we got totally lost and I didn’t pull into my internship until an hour later.
And then yesterday afternoon, a coworker called me up while I was at my internship and asked me if I could cover her evening shift.
“Sure! No problem.” It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. And maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem if:
- I hadn’t already been working since 9 a.m. – It wasn’t Writer’s Night at the coffeeshop, which drew about 40 menopausal women and their tempers – Some guy hadn’t tried to pay for his drink almost entirely in pennies – I wasn’t opening this morning
So, yesterday I worked from 9 in the morning until midnight, only to go home and get 5 hours asleep before coming back to work at 7:30 this morning. But hey, maybe someday I’ll get a flat tire and someone will drive me to work.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Magazineman // Jun 24, 2005 at 7:57 am
Big Fancy Flat Tire Fixer Tool With A Complicated Name???You mean…a jack?Or perhaps…a lug wrench?I think he made up the name of a BFFTFTWACN just so you’d give him a ride.cute pic, BTW. Love the hat, although you look slightly pissed. Asked one too many favors, perhaps?
2 VirtuallySane // Jun 24, 2005 at 8:05 am
I’m sure it’ll all come around in the long run. Hope your weekend goes more smoothly!
3 McCrakin_Phil // Jun 24, 2005 at 8:32 am
I’ll take u to work Ma’am.
4 sunshineboy78 // Jun 24, 2005 at 8:37 am
You should bike to work, no one will ask you for a lift then. Also, sage monks in the Himalowans once told me this mantra: “Think of the Money”
5 AZcowboy // Jun 24, 2005 at 8:52 am
What kind of guy doesn’t know the names of the tools it takes to fix a tire. I mean really it’s not that hard……Anyway you did a good thing MDIC.
6 mydogischelsea // Jun 24, 2005 at 9:06 am
Just to clarify — he knew the name of the tool, I just had never heard of it so I can’t remember what it was. I think MagazineMan was on to something — lud wrench? what the hell is that?
7 PhishChica // Jun 24, 2005 at 10:21 am
But, think of all the good karma you’re saving up!
8 tektoo2 // Jun 24, 2005 at 10:22 am
Late? Naa not you, j/k. Here is what a genereic lug wrench looks like, lol. One day someone will be there to give you a ride to work when you need it. Good deed.
9 Huerter0 // Jun 24, 2005 at 10:41 am
You, my friend, are a psycho. I hope you have learned you lesson. All this kindness can get out of hand ;o)
10 x_defying_gravity_x // Jun 24, 2005 at 11:28 am
I had that problem with work…they ALWAYS called me in and I had to cancel whatever it was that I was doing to go to work…I’ve learned my lesson though and only go if they REALLY need me and I have nothing else to do!
11 TimsHead // Jun 24, 2005 at 2:23 pm
Sometimes it seems like a curse to be nice and helpful. But sooner or later, all that goodwill moves things into your column in a big way. Tho the suggestion of biking to work is good too.ryc: Our city is about to get a Super Wal-Mart, as soon as EvilCorp convinces some local authority that their destruction of wetlands is somehow irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. So now the local trailer park people can pick up their diapers, cigarettes, shotgun shells, lawn ornaments and sides of beef at the same time. Some would call that progress. Go figure.
12 Trueblue456 // Jun 24, 2005 at 7:25 pm
Book Recommendation: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Here’s the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0310494818/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/104-3701903-0919900?v=glance&s=booksUnfortunately, there is a great mass of us who don’t know how to say “no” WHEN APPROPRIATE. (As you know there are just as many people who will say “no” no matter what). And saying “no” isn’t a word that is only to be used as a response to certain favors people ask of you (directly or indirectly). It is a choice that you make regarding any aspect of your day-to-day life that ranges from all things trivial to all things of great consequence. I’ve put a bright yellow post-it note on my mirror to remind me to stand behind my choices:NO means NO means NO means NO. What a liberating thought.