My Dog is Chelsea

Tom Cruise kills Oprah.
In unrelated news, my Xanga premium expired and I haven’t repaid. They took away my links. The bastards.

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It’s my day off, so naturally I’m spending it in a coffeeshop. It’s a significantly hipper coffeeshop than my place of employment — it caters not to douchey tourists from Texas who don’t tip, but to the local alternative twenty-something crowd (i.e. people who are my age but are way [...]

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Everyone, it seems, is talking about Tom Cruise and his ridiculous appearance on the Today Show with Matt Lauer. By “everyone,” I mean three different blogs and news sites I happened across during my morning cup of coffee (here’s one example). To give you a recap (of the recaps I’ve read):
Tom Cruise goes on the [...]

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I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut, and not just when it comes to keeping secrets. I have this really bad habit of saying ‘yes’ before I’ve realized that I should have said, ‘no,’ or offering to do favors that I have absolutely no desire to do whatsoever.
For instance: [...]

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My father had a workshop in the basement of our building. It was the best place in the entire house, I thought, with all sort of wonderful tools and crazy objects and sawdust. The sawdust lent itself, obviously, to an endless oven of Mississippi Sawdust Pies, which my brother and I [...]

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