A friend of mine suggested the other day that perhaps this whole recent-college-graduate-what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life thing wouldn’t be so difficult to deal with if only I had my father around to support me. I’m not sure how true that is — anyone who graduates college with a clear vision of their career path is simply an enigma, if you ask me — but I do think, to some degree, that my friend might be right.
My father’s impact on my childhood was profound, and he left only good memories behind. My mother always brags about how accomplished he was — as a journalist, a builder, a designer, an athlete, an environmentalist, a father, a homemade ketchup-maker — but what I remember most is his sense of humor.
As every child does at some point or another, when I was about six or so, I began to wonder what I would do for a living when I grew up. “I want to be a veterinarian,” I usually would say, an interest that stemmed mainly from an obsession with horses. Sometimes, though, I would toy around with other ideas. President of the United States was effectively ruled out because I was not born in this country, but other than that, pretty much every option seemed viable. My younger brother always said he wanted to be a professional baseball player or an astronaut. I wanted to be a horse doctor or an archeologist. And like most children, we both assumed that anything was possible.
Sitting on my father’s lap one night, I reviewed with him my future career possibilities.
“Can I be a veterinarian?” I asked.
“Laura,” he said, and he hesitated long enough for me to notice a smile glimmering in his eye, “You can be anything in this world that you want to be.”
“Except for President!” I protested.
“Well, anything but that. But if you become a lawyer” — he paused, still glimmering — “you will not be welcomed in this house.”
So maybe that’s what I need right now — just a little deductive reasoning.
20 responses so far ↓
1 xavier1818 // Mar 28, 2005 at 4:25 pm
Yea. Well I wish i had the one beer you keep talking about.
2 xavier1818 // Mar 28, 2005 at 5:33 pm
wonderful
3 Gnarlysurf // Mar 28, 2005 at 6:06 pm
Hey just a few things. First of all I didn’t know you weren’t born in this country. Hmmm so then naturally the next question would bewhich country is your mother land? Also I have 2 other questions to ask you but well I’ll wait until I see you on IM. I don’t want to write questions here because that would be silly - wouldn’t it? Woops that’s a question. Argh nevermind - I’ll just hold out until I see you on IM. Later!
4 zmftimelord // Mar 28, 2005 at 7:12 pm
I was always told that I could be anything I wanted to be, and then I found out how hard that is unless you start as soon as possible. There’s no way I can be an spaceman now, having not had the military background or the scientific training. That takes decades. In my case, there was always the couple of extended family members who would latch on to things I did:
“Oh, he’ll be the first family doctor or lawyer one day because he’s so smart.” or “He’ll be the first family priest because he’s religious.”
Both of those ideas were way off from what I wanted. What did I want? Never really had a goal. Sometimes I think those who graduated college with a goal are lucky, but then I think that they are the ones who started planning early and did not remain open to all possibilities. I’m in graduate school because I don’t know what to do with my degree, but I do so love the academic atmosphere and the learning. I suppose I have a career goal, but it’s not what my life has been moving toward.
In your case, don’t pick something too quickly. As accomplished as you say your father was, he could not have done that by setting out on a specific path from the beginning, but only by being open to where inspiration and skill led. And lawyers always get a bad image…I wonder why that is…
5 pumpernickel_rye // Mar 28, 2005 at 8:02 pm
Whatever you do, don’t get an advanced degree in English. Here’s the progression of my general occupational reveries, starting from about the age of 4: cowgirl, nun, ballerina, teacher, artist, veterinarian, musician. I’m not even sure that the advanced degree was a total wash, though most days I tell myself it was. But if you’d told me 30 years ago I’d end up here, I’d have never believed you. I worry about it, but I can’t really imagine it any other way.
6 Gabe_Real // Mar 28, 2005 at 8:14 pm
First of all: they really need to change that “American-born only allowed to be President” stipulation. I’m sure you could do a much better job runnin’ the Country below me than… Dubya. (Plus, I’d tune in just to hear your eloquent, witty blogs… err.. I meant speeches…)I wanted to be an Astronaut, but wearing glasses killed that dream.Humour is a tremendous gift. I definitely recognize that in you. I’m pretty clueless when it comes to things, but more often that not I can recognize the obvious (ie. red light means stop | green light meansgo) Heh.Veterinarian by day…. Journalist by night… Positive Vibes all over that.Take care of you,Gabe
7 prettypixie7 // Mar 28, 2005 at 9:17 pm
Thank you for that…I think that’s why I’ve been so disappointed in myself. It’s good to pinpoint these things.
8 McCrakin_Phil // Mar 28, 2005 at 10:28 pm
after we amend the constitution to allow Arnold to be president, u’ll be next in line… i can see ur campaign now… “Want a brighter day vote Ma’am all the way. Ma’am for President”
9 TimsHead // Mar 29, 2005 at 12:55 am
At the same time, there’s something to be said for not being fixated on a specific job after college. When I graduated, I really wanted to be a broadcast journalist (it’s Charles Kuralt’s fault), but jobs in that field were few and far between at the time. They also pay lousy, have a lot of stress and require long hours. It turns out that the job experiences I’ve had have been so much more rewarding than I would have had if I’d scored a job in my desired field. Just my two cents, but it’s worth more in Canada.As for your father, he sounded like a great man. I grew up without a father, so your moments to remember, the laughs you’ve had, the wisdom you’ve gained are all things you should indeed treasure.
10 Jules27 // Mar 29, 2005 at 1:16 am
Adorable. Your dad sounds like a lovely man. I think the apres-graduation confusion stretches into forever and we just learn to live in a journey-like mindset… I think? I hope? Where were you born?
11 sunshineboy78 // Mar 29, 2005 at 3:50 am
I always like when you talk about your father, I can feel him smiling through your stories.
If it is any consolation, I knew exactly what I wanted to do when I graduated from college. I did it, and am now in the proccess of my third career change.
12 Didya_evawonda // Mar 29, 2005 at 5:02 am
Great post. Despite the small ketchup speedbump (easily gotten around),I think I would have liked your Dad. In a way, your current line of work is sort of linked to the equine. After all, don’t you deal with horses**t every day?
13 Jay_galk25 // Mar 29, 2005 at 6:05 am
My father once beat me with a baseball bat, and now he expects me to sorta forget about it and accept him as a person, part of me hates him, part of me is devastated because he’s my dad and I should accept him. I wish I would have been lucky enough to have a dad like yours.
Jay “Sigh”
14 MaximaBella // Mar 29, 2005 at 6:28 am
Where is your father?
What country were you born in?
and I agree with someone who commented above, maybe they should change the rule about only american born’s to be president..cuz well..dubya…nuff said
15 MaximaBella // Mar 29, 2005 at 6:51 am
Thanks on the congrats love..I had pretty much lost all hope since they told me they would call with decisions by fri nite, and Id never heard anything. VERY bizarre I was dreaming of petco..and they called right after I woke up. I had pretty much lost all hope and quit thinking about it..weird!
16 trcs // Mar 29, 2005 at 7:11 am
Is your favorite bartender any good at deductive reasoning?
17 trcs // Mar 29, 2005 at 7:26 am
Oh yeah, and RYC on Julie’s blog…. born in London, raised in New York? Could you be any cooler? (have you ever been back to London?)
18 trcs // Mar 29, 2005 at 12:45 pm
You were the victim of a major procrastination mission today! You are going to think I’m crazy. *I* think I’m crazy. haha
19 chicagoartgirl23 // Mar 29, 2005 at 2:13 pm
Where were you born? I feel pretty clueless about what I am doing too. I’ve decided to not give a crap what anyone thinks and just do my thing. My resume is confusing and includes so many artistic outlets that most people (namely my family-of which no one has ever been to college, especially ART SCHOOL-they think I’m a bit nuts) just scratch their heads and say, “well what do you want to do?” RAR! I want to be creative and make a difference in the world, but beyond that I am pretty much at the mercy of whatever bills need paying at the moment. I think becoming an Art Therapist might satisfy these needs, but since I havn’t tried it yet, there’s no way to be sure. And besides–grad school and getting my doctorate seem eons away at this point (I’m planning to go to grad school in about three years–and that feels like a really long time, anyway). In the meantime–I’m happy to just pay the bills, do my thing, see the world, and keep an open mind. Just reccently I’ve been able to stop worrying about finding the “right” thing and I just invite possiblity in my life. I figure if I can’t find “it”–”it” might find me. I’m so happy to hear your dad has left you with beautiful memories. The world needs more of dads like yours. Maybe one day you’ll post his katsup recipe! ::grin::
20 chicagoartgirl23 // Mar 29, 2005 at 2:21 pm
Oh yeah-you asked me about the fiction I am working on. I’m working on a longer story (dare I say…book? No-I’m too non-committal for that. I’ll keep with long story) that is structured a bit like the movie From Dusk ‘Till dawn . It is a teen relationship drama in part one and takes a crazy, circumstantial turn into an international conspiracy/otherworldly plotline in part two. I’m hoping for the best, but I’m trying not to care if it sucks or not. It’s the first time since my thesis (feature length movie script) that I’ve tried my hand at long form—so it could suck (much like my movie ::grin::)—but I’m having fun writing it.