My mother is on a diet, which means that a) the refrigerator is stocked with nothing but grapefruit and cottage cheese and b) every conversation she has with me is related to dieting. In the last few days she has said the following things:- “Have you lost weight?”
- “Don’t you think [insert any name here] has lost weight?”
- “Have I lost weight?”
- “I’m so fat!”
- “Has the dog lost weight?”
- “Martha Stewart looked fabulous when she got out of jail. I wonder how she lost all of that weight.”
- “I’m dieting, so I can only drink vodka.”
- “I don’t think this diet thing is going to work out.”
- “Would you like a ginger Altoid? It’s only 3 calories.”
- “I need to go work out. All I’ve done today is pilates.”
- “Can I have a side of vegetables instead of the fries? I’m on a di-di.”
- Her: “Can you stop making fun of me for saying di-di?”
Me: “No, but would you like a slice of pie-pie?”
Her: “No! You know I’m on a di-di.”
Me: “How about a mai-tai?”
Her: “I can only have vodka!”
I think I’ll make a run to the grocery store this weekend, and perhaps stop by the Krispy Kreme on the way back.
22 responses so far ↓
1 tektoo2 // Mar 15, 2005 at 5:03 pm
The “di-di” has been written and will never be forgotten… You were right, that was right up there with the “slow transmission”.
2 Magazineman // Mar 15, 2005 at 5:30 pm
I thought “di-di” was the disposable garment into which babies deposited doo-doo (although being around loaded ones can cause you to lose your appetite and, therefore, weight.Mmmm…Krispy Kreme…Hungry now.Ooo! The rose-in-the-eye (or is that eye-eye?) picture is back. Yay!
3 McCrakin_Phil // Mar 15, 2005 at 6:41 pm
theres a rose attacking ur eye-eye!
“I’m dieting, so I can only drink vodka.” I’ll be on that diet this weekend.
4 Gabe_Real // Mar 15, 2005 at 7:55 pm
The Vodka diet… Definitely my kind of diet… If I did diet.I should be on a Merlot diet or a Stella diet. Then I guess I couldn’t drive-drive.I love that pic. I love the Beta Band… AssessmentPositive Vibe-Vibe.
5 Jules27 // Mar 16, 2005 at 12:14 am
Putting the “fun” back in dys”fun”ctional dieting… I love it.
6 chicagoartgirl23 // Mar 16, 2005 at 2:34 am
Oh my! We are twins! As my mom’s divorce came to a head this past August she went on the most friggin’ annoying diet EVER! The sick thing was she was already a stick–5’9 and around 125lbs. Now she’s so grossly thin that it looks like her head is enormous trying to keep itself atop her body. My mom loved the low carb lifestyle and it made me want to punch every low carb thing I saw. The woman ate nothing but dry tuna on dry lettuce. She even went as far as to suggest that my husband and I needed to go on a low carb diet….wtf!?!? We are reguarly referred to as “bean poles” by everyone else in the family. Mothers should be banned from dieting. RAR! ::smile:: Thanks for the opportunity to vent!
7 ProwlingTyger // Mar 16, 2005 at 3:00 am
hehehehehe the di-di thing is hilarious!!!!
8 MaximaBella // Mar 16, 2005 at 3:22 am
lmao you want some pie pie..
9 sunshineboy78 // Mar 16, 2005 at 3:33 am
I’m on a di-di too how convenient. Does she pronounce it Dai-Dai? or Dee-Dee?
10 Coccinella // Mar 16, 2005 at 3:38 am
Omg – hilarious lmao! Di-di, pie-pie, Mai-Tai – rofl.
11 jaki_o // Mar 16, 2005 at 5:36 am
Haha, the vodka comment. I’m guessing in reference to offering her a beer or something else. No, only vodka.
Like when my mom was on meds, but figured out she could still drink gin and tonics. No, I’m on medication, only gin and tonic…
12 TexasAlan // Mar 16, 2005 at 7:42 am
For a short time in college, when i was dirt poor, I was on the Tic Tac Diet. They were only 1 1/2 calories, so when I had the munchies, I would chomp on a few. Sure, I looked sickly, but I was thin and pretty.
13 SHABOY // Mar 16, 2005 at 9:02 am
eat me
14 CollieCrazy // Mar 16, 2005 at 10:06 am
I like the Krispy Kreme idea….”Hot and Now”….btw…neat site….thanks for sharing.
15 Calilyn // Mar 16, 2005 at 10:41 am
Random props.
Becky~
16 Didya_evawonda // Mar 16, 2005 at 11:12 am
great post…and only 3 calories!
17 TimsHead // Mar 16, 2005 at 11:21 am
Now that the Atkins diet fad is over, something has to take its place. The High-Vodka Diet sounds as good as anything. Maybe you should start writing an outline and pitching it asap … you’re just as qualified as most people who write diet books.
18 TimsHead // Mar 16, 2005 at 12:13 pm
Amend that to “Most people who write diet books don’t have any qualifications, so you’re just as qualified!
” There. Trying to stay out of the proverbial, er, dog house. Though if you wrote one with the POV and attitude of your blog, it would be infinitely more entertaining.
19 colette_and_moi // Mar 16, 2005 at 1:44 pm
I highly recommend the vodka diet. I’ve been on it now for about 5 years and weigh in at a fashionably svelte 45 pounds. I’m also now a lovely shade of yellow so I no longer need to tan.
20 Gabe_Real // Mar 16, 2005 at 4:47 pm
I chuckled at your joke… The great thing about “Positive Vibes” is you can have it mean different things and it still sounds classy.Much like the lady whose bloggah I’m commenting on Must eat my *din-din*Cheers.
21 Jay_galk25 // Mar 17, 2005 at 6:02 am
“I’m dieting, so I can only drink vodka.”
Alex is on that diet, but his involves beer…/lush
Jay “Dirty Irish Rawr”
22 Rod_Lamour // Mar 24, 2005 at 12:40 am
Ok Doll….you had better educate me…I did post a comment on your journal yesterday …do I post a comment and an eProp ???Or just an eprop…What is an eProp anyway? A little help please…Love…Uncle Joe