Normally, I don’t bother watching the Oscars. I usually haven’t seen any of the nominated movies, I hate Joan Rivers, and that orchestra music is enough to make me never turn on the television ever again.But this year is different: Chris Rock is hosting the festivities. And, in his fifteen minute opening routine, he managed to make several very ballsy statements:
1) He said that he wouldn’t say anything bad about Bush, but went on to make some pretty clever and nasty remarks—by way of an analogy involving Gap, Inc., thereby addressing the war in Iraq, the unfortunate reelection of our Commander-in-Chief, and the unbelievable deficit in which our country now finds itself.
2) He mentioned that his favorite movie of the year was Fahrenheit 911, and criticized the Academy for not nominating it.
3) He made fun of several actors, including Mel Gibson (thank goodness, because someone should).
But then they gave an award for “Best Person Who Drew the Things Upon Which the Movie’s Set is Based,” and I started dozing. If it weren’t for Halle Berry’s stunning appearance—I’m sure even Joan and Melissa had nice things to say about her dress—I would have been completely sound asleep.
I suppose I won’t berate my fabulous readers with anymore Oscar commentary, particularly since I only watched 19 minutes of it. After all, this year isn’t much different than most—I still haven’t seen any of the movies nominated, I will never like Joan Rivers, or her mother, Melissa (or is it the other way around? I can’t tell with all of the plastic surgery), and the orchestra music is as bad as ever. I turned it off after Renee Zellweger sashayed on stage looking like a red-finned version of The Little Mermaid.
But congratulations to Morgan Freeman on a long-awaited, well-deserved, should-have-been-won-for-Shawshank-Redemption-years-ago Oscar.
Here’s to hoping there will be a few more interesting moments before the evening ends…
23 responses so far ↓
1 rainingheart // Feb 27, 2005 at 3:54 pm
I missed it…I was scrubbing my toilet.
2 natkat // Feb 27, 2005 at 4:21 pm
my mom told me that joan and her mother/daughter were fired from E! because joan is crazy. and she doesn’t exactly resemble a human being….
3 blueyodel73 // Feb 27, 2005 at 6:05 pm
Thanks for dropping by. I am going to be studying real estate finance (at least that is the idea right now). I agree on the Oscars. Couldn’t wait to not watch it.
4 chicagoartgirl23 // Feb 27, 2005 at 7:07 pm
Ha! Joan Rivers is a monster! But hey, if I was paid that richly to be a monster, I would try my best. But I doubt if I could ever match her level of cattyness or her exstensive plastic surgery. Her face has been lifted so many times that it resembes the look you get when you ride the carnival ride “The Gravitron” (the one that spins really fast and the magic of gravity makes you stick to the walls of the ride, consequently pulling your skin back at the cheeks and around the mouth). Real sexy, eh? I wish I could stomach it, but the pre-show came on while I was cleaning out our hole of an apartment today and all the pretty people hurt my eyes so I had to turn it off. ::grin::
5 trcs // Feb 27, 2005 at 11:36 pm
my comments o’ the day:1. How is it possible that Halle Berry is that hot?!2. A Horray for Morgan Freeman from me as well. He is just so wonderful.3. Chris Rock is damn funny.4. I’m not necessarily a huge Hilary Swank fan, but she looked great in that dress.
6 McCrakin_Phil // Feb 28, 2005 at 12:28 am
“But congratulations to Morgan Freeman on a long-awaited, well-deserved, should-have-been-won-for-Shawshank-Redemption-years-ago Oscar.”
i concur… I missed the oscars how were they?
7 Jules27 // Feb 28, 2005 at 1:25 am
I am fully aware that the Oscars are on the “not” side of ”hot or not” lists everywhere. But I still missed them. *sigh*
8 MaximaBella // Feb 28, 2005 at 3:52 am
Yeah, Oscars, no so entertaining huh? I watched a total of about 19 minutes also.
I do believe the defintion for Oscar in the dictionary reads: Clear diagnosis for ADD & ADHD.
9 Jay_galk25 // Feb 28, 2005 at 4:57 am
I watched it for you and Maxia…u missed NOTHING!!! :).
Jay “Rawr”
10 AZcowboy // Feb 28, 2005 at 8:28 am
I have to say Mrs. O is amazing, their is something about that women. When Jamie Foxx was giving his acceptance speech he mentioned her and Mrs. Berry and when they closed in on Mrs. O you could see how proud she was of him, it was a great but brief spec of time…….guess you had to be watching.
11 tektoo2 // Feb 28, 2005 at 9:46 am
I didnt even remember that the Oscars were on last night. It was a busy day. It looks like I didnt miss much. And yes, it has been a long time coming for Morgan Freeman. Congrats, Sir! Chris Rock goes after everyone. He’s great!
12 diversityROXZ // Feb 28, 2005 at 12:17 pm
I know it is un american not to like awards shows but it is the whole point of the(OVER) hype that makes me not watch.Seeing Joan Rivers at any time is scary for me. It is something to do with the voice/face combo that freaks me out.I woke up this morning and heard Clint Eastwood Thanked his mom, I thought that was sweet until I realised isn’t Clint E 85ish- how old is his mom 101? At that age he should have brought her on stage with him -since she might not get to see him win again.
13 Gabe_Real // Feb 28, 2005 at 4:12 pm
Congratulations to Morgan Freeman indeed. I was surprised to learn he didn’t win an Oscar for Lean On Me.
Jamie Foxx’s speech-clincher was golden.
14 armydude84 // Feb 28, 2005 at 5:16 pm
Aww!!!!! I TOTALLY jus saw a piccy of ur lil puppers Chelsea… O M G.. {v}! SOO aDoRaBlE!! ur soo lucky!! {v} “lil bundle of joy” lol… she looked kinda depressed in that one pic of her all blown up… lol…And yah i totally agree with you. I, your personal xanga groupie (lol), think that Joan Rivers is an old saggy washup and that backround music is personally enough to make me do the hokey pokey and turn the tv off or change the channel. LoL :-)Hooray Morgan Freeman!! He’s my dad!… j/k… lolYa Armydude bud, “They-dont-call-me-random-robert-for-nothin’”,Rob (LOL… yah and i jus made that up…*bows* thank you, thank you)
15 Non_Featured_Content // Feb 28, 2005 at 7:15 pm
Non_Featured_Content is now Open!Your site is now being featured in the March edition of Non_Featured_Content.Choose Freedom of Speech.-The BXU! Team
16 armydude84 // Feb 28, 2005 at 7:35 pm
Great Clips gave ur friend a mullet…for real?! LOL!!!!!!!!! o m g…u had me rollin on my site
like… —-> that way rollin… yeah ur pupper wuppers is whoa cute!!! lil bundle of joy LOL 
i used to have puppies… they’re all grown up now 
and cuter than ever… 
i wuv my pups! ;-)Spanx for da comment! And yeh, my post took me forever and a fookin day… lol. It tends to trigger my friend’s a.d.d. when he reads my site LOL he’s a cutie… i’ll have to find his site later …looks kinda like, “pouveporir or somethin like that …poopypoo idk lol
17 chublin // Feb 28, 2005 at 8:52 pm
car jousting, eh Laura? Ok, you’re on!!! But i’ll warn you now, the Jellybean is quite spherical and it’s going to be difficult to make your pole thingy stick.
18 Jay_galk25 // Feb 28, 2005 at 11:27 pm
“Your site is now being featured in the March edition of Non_Featured_Content”
No…she was our little secret, you bastards!!!
Jay “Rawr”
19 McCrakin_Phil // Mar 1, 2005 at 12:52 am
no update im shocked? where will i get my humor Ma’am, and believe me after my night i need it. aww u think my pic is sweet and innocent
That dress is nice, Halle Berry’s dress that is. bet u’d look like a peach in it… Mmmmm peach.
20 MaximaBella // Mar 1, 2005 at 7:30 am
ryc: you friggin crack me up! thanks for joining team maximabella, your badge is on its way!
21 prettypixie7 // Mar 1, 2005 at 11:29 am
I have to buy my own special boxes of Lucky Charms now, because the other people in my house get upset when there’s just a box of oats in the pantry. I have written a letter to the makers of Lucky Charms, asking if they could possibly send me a bag of just charms…OR if they could make a cereal that was just charms. I’ll let you know what their response is.I was just graduating from high school, so…18.
22 Gnarlysurf // Mar 1, 2005 at 2:27 pm
I am most happy that I crack you up. Heck I even crack myself up on occasion. Yes indeed Morgan Freeman should have won an Oscar for Shawshank Redemption…which is one of my favorite movies. But I didn’t watch the Ocars. It seems just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to me…sort of like the whole election process. I just tend not to believe the votes/nominations. Either that or it’s just me complaining again.
23 rainingheart // Mar 1, 2005 at 3:35 pm
Got your email and followed your directions! I hope you can do the same for me when it is my turn!!!